I’m trying to befriend everyone as I know, be nice and kind whether deep down I like them or not, I’m an informed, educated, professional woman using my own network to catapult me into a career to earn some $ to pay for a swim team that is pathetically overpriced because my own town abandoned all efforts to find our rec team a pool in time … ooops, I digress my anger.
Back to the nut-jobs at open house.
For god’s sake, where do these parents come from? Seriously! We all misspeak at kindergarten, convinced we have the only advanced, gifted, precocious yet charming child in town. But after that the water should have surely leveled out. We’re talking 5th and 8th grade for pete’s sake!
Why in front of a full audience make it all about your little genius? Your kid’s anger management issues? Your ability to fork over the $500 for the field trip, despite half the class has one, or two, unemployed ‘rents? Snack time – are you out of your mind? – for your tubbo 8th grader? Special books because Jimmy’s read every book on the syllabus?
My favorite: a separate set of books at home so mommy can read along while junior does her homework. Like one time through 8th grade wasn’t torturous enough. Personally, I’d rather be in active labor than an 8th grade girl again.
This is not parent-teacher conferences. This is Open House.
The only thing spouting off your kids’ mighty achievements does is to wave one big fat red flag at this parent saying: nope, no sleepovers there. No group projects and no book fair volunteering with that windbag. And I’m checking every roster we sign up for to make sure your names aren’t on it. Freaks.
Okay, I’ll be kinder, gentler writer tomorrow. Or maybe the day after – high school open house is tonight. Can’t wait.