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Kathryn Mayer • Writing Out Loud

I write stuff down. writer • humorist • activist

In Life, Birthdays Happen

October 28, 2010 by Kate Mayer 12 Comments

Don’t let this day scare you off from looking for a job. This everything I wished for: the work, the family, the opportunities. Except today, October 28th, is my youngest kid’s birthday and it’s going to be hard to squeeze it all in.

It’s #4’s birthday so time to really focus on losing that baby weight. ‘Cept baby is now 11 and searching for armpit hair every frickin’ day. When he finds one, he wants to name it Gordon. This is what happens when you don’t let your kids watch TV.

This is not a ringing endorsement of throwing a job into the mix for those comfortable staying at home. But I’m here to tell you, if your kids are old enough to search for armpit hair, you need to get a job. And if you are relentless in your pursuits and prove yourself essential once hired, you may snag a job that lets you do both. If not, search for another.  Moms are returning to work and making life and careers happen simultaneously, and so can you. I’m hoping I can too, and I hope not all days are birthdays.

Crazy Mom Day in the Life of Halloween and Birthday Week

6:00 am Birthday Wake-Up: Blast Beatles Birthday song on high throughout the house. Dance with BernDog and jump on bed. Coffee, breakfast and presents. Drive kids to school who miss bus.

7:00 am Get dressed in grown up clothes. Clearly, the most difficult part of my day. Client meeting means shower, blow dry, real clothes and a little lipstick. Not my strong points.

8:45 am First, munchkins to celebrate birthday boy’s big day at school. Drive Munchkins, broken arm kid, trumpet and backpack to school. Misplaced the memo about prepackaged, individually wrapped, clearly labeled store-bought food items only. That will cost me a fortune, and I can’t bake. So it’s Munchkins and coffee to soothe things over for the nice teacher. Jet to next appointment 20 miles away.

11:00-1:00 Client meeting to discuss goals, plans and communication strategies…again. No problem, we can talk some more. (JUST DECIDE ALREADY!) Think they’ll feed me?

2:30 High School. Pick up kid after school activity and return home. She’s on her own for return trip to school at 4:30.

3:00 conference (cell) call in park ‘n ride someplace off highway.

3:30 Cross Country Meet (40 minutes away) for anxious, excited #3 who thinks today’s the day she beats THE running star from the middle school. She just may do it.

5:00 leave Cross Country, find food for hungry runners. Head to swim meet 45 minutes north, during rush hour on road that’s been under construction since I was in high school.

7:00 Swim meet. Last high school event, sad day due to death of favorite senior and freshman’s dad, emotional tsunami guaranteed. I’ve had it with dead dads. Please people, stop dying. It’s torturing my town.

Travel time isn’t even included here. I’ll put over 150 miles on my car today, and never go over 45 mph. I’ll work for two clients, three+ kids, this blog, and hopefully not have anything else thrown into the mix: like pink eye, strep, heartache, sick parents, bad news phone calls or rush deadlines.

Birthdays happen. Thankfully.

Don’t cry for the Birthday Boy. While I criss-cross the state for work and big sisters’ athletic ambitions, Grandpa is taking #4 on the traditional birthday shopping spree, hitting every sports haven, toy store and french fry joint around, hopefully splurging on new cleats, before delivering my 11-year-old baby back home to me.

It’s crazy today, but someday it will be calm and quiet, and I’m going to miss all this. But not today.


Boobs. Boob, boobs, boobs.
Halloween Hangover, Still

Comments

  1. Anonymous says

    October 28, 2010 at 1:35 pm

    Go Go Go….what about the good lookin hubby, what’s his role in your crazy b’day day

    Reply
  2. Anonymous says

    October 28, 2010 at 1:40 pm

    you’ll have to let us all know if #3 beats that runner!!

    Reply
  3. Robin says

    October 28, 2010 at 2:35 pm

    Here’s to Gordon showing up to celebrate. ~~~~~ 8>D ~~~~~

    GOGOGO to swimmer (swimming rocks, right?) and runner!

    WoooHooo, Kate!

    Reply
  4. Amory says

    October 28, 2010 at 6:13 pm

    WHEW! You just made me exhausted. Hopefully your cell conference call in a Park-n-Ride parking lot .. there wasn’t any “CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW??!!”

    You are a rock star! You even got a great picture to document the birthday! 🙂

    Reply
  5. Kathy (p/t writer, f/t mom) says

    October 28, 2010 at 6:17 pm

    The Great Bald one: ordered yo-yo IN TIME, shopped for cool stuff like Farts are Art, wrapped bday gifts, made bkfst and lunches (more on that l8tr), compiled games for bday party, fixed twitter acct, practiced math facts, mailed box to college girl, cleaned up dinner, caught 2 mice, talked me off a ledge, and this morn, brought me coffee in bed. I done good.

    Reply
  6. Michelle Saunderson says

    October 29, 2010 at 10:51 am

    I am exhausted just reading this. Makes me glad I stopped at 2 because I could never keep up with 4. Kudos to you. You deserve a superwoman cape or something.

    Reply
  7. Beastman says

    October 29, 2010 at 7:35 pm

    Tell Boy “Happy Birthday” from us! Hope his arm is feeling better! I laughed so hard I almost fell off my chair when I read about the armpit hair – our boy is doing that too. I had no idea that’s what boys do – it’s nice to know he’s not the only one!

    Reply
  8. Kathy (p/t writer, f/t mom) says

    October 29, 2010 at 8:26 pm

    Thanks peoples. NOTE: do not answer the phone running out the door. assigned rush job — with 20 minutes to get to cross country 40 min away. Never plan for that crapola but always happens! Day turned out great tho’, was early to swim and snuck in awesome dinner! Great gift when expecting stale pretzel rods and last swig of gatorade backwash.

    Reply
  9. Minnesota Mamaleh says

    November 1, 2010 at 7:30 pm

    nicely executed, mama! nicely executed, indeed.

    i will, one day, have to be back at work. it’s in “the plan.” you know the one, the one we agreed upon before kiddos. ah, yes. that one! so your words are excellent for food thought for me! i’m so glad that i found your site today! 🙂

    Reply
  10. Kathy (p/t writer, f/t mom) says

    November 2, 2010 at 12:18 am

    Greetings Minnesota! Wish that was an extreme day, but I’ve been knocked down by days just like them ever since. Trying to catch my breath and get back to work … baby steps sista!

    Reply
  11. Anonymous says

    November 2, 2010 at 8:58 pm

    Oh stop whining….this is what you signed up for and thrive on!!!! Did we beat the MS runner? Did Boy create artful farts?!!?

    Reply

Trackbacks

  1. Halloween Hangover, Still - Kathryn Mayer says:
    November 2, 2016 at 3:08 pm

    […] so apparently crazy birthday hell extended throughout the weekend. And past Monday. And into Tuesday because really, I’m […]

    Reply

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About Kathryn Mayer

Kathryn Mayer

An irreverent storyteller with a foul mouth and big heart, Kathryn Mayer (aka Kathy and/or Kate) is a writer, humorist, and (former) activist writing out loud with humor and grace about little life moments with big ripples, including the space between parenting and aging parents, social issues, angsty reflections of midlife, and, sigh, gun humpers. Still. Sometimes a big deal, sometimes not Mayer is a national award-winning columnist, according to the National Society of Newspaper Columnists, and her essays have been recognized as Voice of … Read More Here...

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