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Kathryn Mayer • Writing Out Loud

I write stuff down. writer • humorist • activist

Time Traveler for Mid-Life Reunions

January 31, 2011 by Kate Mayer 8 Comments

The Standard Hotel. Manhattan.

 

You can’t make old friends, so when a college buddy of rather-attractive hubby and mine, who we have not seen in 4 kids or so, came to town, we wanted to see him.

He and his bride traveled across the country; the least we could do was get our married-with-children teenagers asses into New York for a night out. It wasn’t root canal; it was dinner and drinks with friends. Like grown-ups do.

We had 9:30 dinner reservations.

9:30 at night.

You know, halfway through Law & Order reruns, when your eyes get heavy and they bring in Sam Waterson to wake you up? That’s when we were supposed to eat dinner. In New York. Like in Manhattan, New York City.

Which never sleeps. But we do.

And the restaurant was a mere 20 min metrocard from Grand Central, where an 88 minute train ride would return us to a desolate commuter lot, where the car would be frozen and hopefully start for the 30 minute ride home.

This was not looking so good.

So I confessed: it’s not my kids, it’s me. I can’t do this.

“I can’t eat at 9:30. We have a crack-of-dawn swim meet, and hoops game, and birthday party, and I need to be in bed by 11 o’clock news. It’s what we do.”

To which he replied:

“Wow. Okay, Grandma.”

Nobody puts Granny in a corner. Not nobody.

Fuckhead.

Them’s fighting words and now I HAD to go. And eat at midnight, or 9:30, and look like a hip New Yorker, and not some middle-aged, suburban, SUV driving soccer mom going to the city for a celebratory if not celibate night out.

Women who I myself made fun of relentlessly when pre-kids, I worked in the city and while never hip, I swore off and at the suburban Wednesday matinee loving groupies. Which I now am.

So we went. And drank. And ate. And talked and laughed and hugged and had the best time ever.

We went to the top of a hotel and had cocktails we couldn’t afford. We walked High Line Park in a wispy snowfall. Listened to Cuban music and drank Mojitos. Celebrated birthdays. Talked politics and healthcare and parenting and travel. Career goals. Retirement.

THE BEST TIME.

I tried to take a self-portrait of me peeing in the fanciest bathroom ever on the 18th floor of The Standard Hotel, but it didn’t come out. Which is probably a good thing. The photograph, of course, not the pee. The pee was just fine.

NOTE: When in New York, you simply must pee after dark in the bathrooms on the 18th floor of The Standard Hotel. Put this on your bucket list.

We missed our train home, and caught the last train out of Manhattan, which was filled the last-call-for-alcohol drunken slobs, their regretful dates, lost companions, sloppy decisions, and loud, f-bomb laden fighting words. Complete with police escorts.

It smelled like barf and cigarettes and hairspray. And everyone talks loud and dumb, with Jersey accents. Thank you popular culture. A living hell, or so I thought.

But the real hell began when a mere 90 minutes later after arriving home, at 6:30 am next morning, when life began again fast.

With swim meets and basketball games and birthday parties and snow storms. But I don’t regret it one bit. It was good to remember who we used to be, with people who knew us then, and got to know us again now, and love us anyways.


That TOYOTA Brat Pissing Anyone Else Off?
Have Interview; Won’t Travel

Comments

  1. Michelle Saunderson says

    January 31, 2011 at 5:50 pm

    I can totally relate, not to the New York part, but the meeting up with the friends from your old life. I think the next day I had a hangover all day, so I would have had to cancel everything if I had the kids that weekend. Thank goodness they were with the ex.

    Reply
  2. Robin K says

    January 31, 2011 at 8:22 pm

    The night out sounds awesome! The fresh “hell” of recovery? Not so much. As for the pre-kid touts: hmmmm, I remember listening and thinking (I SO DO!) That Girl is going to do it all. All that she wants.

    “….but it didn’t come out”

    Lots of laughing!

    Reply
  3. LazyMom says

    January 31, 2011 at 11:56 pm

    As much as I love NYC–I absolutely love my sleep.

    Reply
  4. Kathy (p/t writer, f/t mom) says

    February 1, 2011 at 2:47 pm

    @lazymom NYC was so worth sleep deprivation! (i say 3 days later, fully recovered…)
    @michelle sometimes the every other weekend thing sounds like a pretty sweet deal
    @Robin K *heart*

    Reply
  5. irishtwinsmommababybook says

    February 2, 2011 at 12:03 am

    HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAA!!! I can’t stop looking at the granny picture and laughing!!! 🙂

    In the same boat, had to tell the friends from H.S. that’s it’s me, not the kids and how much I love my sleep, etc.

    You deserved that night out. Makes things like going to the bathroom late at night on the 18th floor….. amazing– and appreciate the very small things in life. 🙂

    Reply
  6. Kathy (p/t writer, f/t mom) says

    February 2, 2011 at 1:30 am

    I know – the granny image made me bust out laughing. Not so sure my mom and MIL had same reaction… 🙂

    Reply
  7. vanita says

    February 2, 2011 at 4:13 pm

    hubby and i have a “spot” in lower Manhattan on Waverly Place called Josie’s Pub. Nice bar, good food, excellent waitresses and 2 pool tables. Open late afternoons to early morning. Great spot to hang out and have fun at night. We love it there and would go every few weeks.

    Then we had babies.

    Even though I’m in the bronx, and the nearby train will have me there in 40 minutes, and up until a few months ago I use to commute there everyday since I worked a few blocks away, we haven’t been there in over 3 years.

    There’s just no late nights for this mama anymore.

    I applaud you for making the trek and I’m glad your friend conned you into it.

    Reply
  8. Kathy (p/t writer, f/t mom) says

    February 3, 2011 at 12:20 am

    Josie’s Pub! How can it not be perfect! Go! Suprise late night rendezvous… it’d be so worth it!

    Reply

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Kathryn Mayer

An irreverent storyteller with a foul mouth and big heart, Kathryn Mayer (aka Kathy and/or Kate) is a writer, humorist, and activist writing out loud with humor and grace about little life moments with big ripples, including the space between parenting and aging parents, social issues, angsty reflections of midlife, and, sigh, gun humpers. Still. Sometimes a big deal, sometimes not Mayer is a national award-winning columnist, according to the National Society of Newspaper Columnists, and her essays have been recognized as Voice of the Year … Read More Here...

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