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Kathryn Mayer • Writing Out Loud

I write stuff down. writer • humorist • activist

My Husband is Cheating on Me with a Tree

March 21, 2011 by Kate Mayer 11 Comments

Just a dad, his dog, kids and a bunch of buckets.
Time to make the syrup

…but I can’t complain too much.

It’s what he does.

Some guys drink, gamble, screw around. Some flirt, turn into sports junkies, internet hounds, live round two through their kids. Workaholics.

Mine taps trees.

There are worse things.

Every spring, or every time the temperature stays freezing at night and ventures into the plus 32 during the day, the sap flows and he’s tapping sugar maples at camp about 3 hours north. Think outhouse, not weekend home.

Sometimes his friends come along, which according to Kid3, is a complete and utter farce.

“Daddy has no friends. Those are your friends’ husbands.”

Love that kid.

Whatever kid can go, goes; sometimes one or two, sometimes it’s a field trip. They’re not afraid to tell school they’ll be out a few days because the sap is flowing.

They tap the trees, sit by the fire and talk. There is no tv, internet, or heat. There’s intermittent cell service if you stand just right near the bend in the brook. They spend hours upon hours boiling the sap down and return windburn, smelly, muddy, dirty and happy.

With a pint or two of golden springtime.

It’s his thing.  He’s creating a tradition that our kids will continue which is quite a beautiful thing.

Happy Spring.


Enough of the Bullshit, Teach My Kid to Read. Please.
Early Dismissal Sends Shit Flying

Comments

  1. LazyMom says

    March 21, 2011 at 10:30 am

    Those trees can be so seductive.

    Reply
  2. Leslie says

    March 21, 2011 at 10:36 am

    Sounds like a nice tradition!

    Reply
  3. Kathy (p/t writer, f/t mom) says

    March 21, 2011 at 11:07 am

    @lazymom Had I known when I married him….

    @leslie It is. Even tho 5° at night, an outhouse and a woodstove. So not my thing; I went, I tried, I returned home.

    Reply
  4. Michelle Saunderson says

    March 21, 2011 at 1:51 pm

    Does not sound like something I would want to do more than once or twice. It is nice that your hubby enjoys it. And like you said, it could be something worse.

    Reply
  5. Kathy (p/t writer, f/t mom) says

    March 21, 2011 at 4:16 pm

    @michelle: it is so unbelievably beautiful…in July. I went for years, and now happily stay home to shuttle remaining kids to and from.

    ps. it is snowing here. Again.

    Reply
  6. Dave says

    March 21, 2011 at 4:53 pm

    tell boy that his dad does too have friends. No mere “husband of a friend” would endure such upstate hardships for the sake of his wife’s friendship and NOT make her come along too.

    Reply
  7. Kathy (p/t writer, f/t mom) says

    March 21, 2011 at 5:49 pm

    @dave: humbly acknowledging friend presence. you rock.

    Reply
  8. Mrs. Tuna says

    March 22, 2011 at 3:03 am

    You could try dabbing a little Pine Sol behind your ears. Stopping over from Java’s blog. Now following because I think we could be new BFFs.

    Reply
  9. Kathy (p/t writer, f/t mom) says

    March 22, 2011 at 1:35 pm

    Mrs Tuna:
    Pine Sol!!

    brilliant.

    better than Victoria’s Secret any day. it’ll be my new secret weapon!

    Reply
  10. Robin K says

    March 24, 2011 at 2:33 am

    So sweet. And sappy. I can understand the allure. Sounds hard core too.

    Reply

Trackbacks

  1. I will not complain about driving my kids around. says:
    February 4, 2015 at 9:54 pm

    […] rather attractive husband was out tapping trees, my carpooling firefighter neighbor was working nights, and my 16 year old has yet to get her […]

    Reply

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About Kathryn Mayer

Kathryn Mayer

An irreverent storyteller with a foul mouth and big heart, Kathryn Mayer (aka Kathy and/or Kate) is a writer, humorist, and (former) activist writing out loud with humor and grace about little life moments with big ripples, including the space between parenting and aging parents, social issues, angsty reflections of midlife, and, sigh, gun humpers. Still. Sometimes a big deal, sometimes not Mayer is a national award-winning columnist, according to the National Society of Newspaper Columnists, and her essays have been recognized as Voice of … Read More Here...

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