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Kathryn Mayer • Writing Out Loud

I write stuff down. writer • humorist • activist

Best Kisser in Town Lands Great Job

April 28, 2011 by Kate Mayer 9 Comments

Take job. Learn, leave, then love the next.

Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful; there’s really no cause-effect relationship there.

Instead, hate me because I love my work and really, can’t shut up about it.

Haven’t even had time to blog: it’s that good. I’d rather be working.

Seriously. How screwed up is that?

I bill 20-25 hours a week, but am OBSESSED and work, dream, and brain dump about this crazy cool opportunity to anyone who will listen, which is mostly just my rather attractive husband.

In reality: I work for a small, local-yocal car dealer selling cars I grew up laughing at.

In reality: I work for an innovative woman successfully breaking stereotypes in man’s industry; committed to changing the image of car buying from sleazy to transparent; a believer of inbound marketing, relying on me to make her on-line presence more personal, building relationships with customers, community members, and colleagues via social media and community outreach. Giving back to the community she serves is high priority: “because that is really the most important thing we can do.”

I thought it was a shell game. But it’s not.

She’s for real.

Car seats. Pediatric cancer research. Distracted driving. Education. Arts. Teen driving laws. Mentoring. Seriously environmentally green.

She’s exhausting.

And damnit, she’s nice too. I used to fucking hate women like her, before they started paying me to work for them and valuing my opinion.

I can do this job. I want to do this job.

The boss is great: smart, brave, ethical, flexible, and a mom of little kids. So she gets it. As much as any mom of little kids gets a mom of teenagers. She definitely thinks I’m a freak, but that’s okay. I’m her not-so-distant future and she’ll apologize later. They all do.

This job has been a long time coming. And in fact, I still haven’t officially quit the other teeny tiny gigs, because I’m still afraid this will all be over with a single tweet of 140 characters:

@returntoworkmom: Skills obsolete, u got a foul mouth & twitter not rite for biz. Lose nose-ring. Go back 2 school. W8d 2 long to get back in the ring. Fight over. Nice try.

So far, no offer.

I’ve been at this three months now, and I feel like I’m in junior high celebrating each anniversary: 2 weeks! 4 weeks! A month and a half! Let’s make out! 3 months already! It’s love!

Face it: in this job market, the honeymoon period ended when that first paycheck cleared. Jobs are few and far between, and while I’m still hesitant, I’m breathing easier every day.

I wouldn’t have this job if I hadn’t taken all the baby steps to get here. If I didn’t have this blog. If I didn’t screw around with twitter. If I didn’t just say yes, then learn how later.
You’ve got to kiss a lot of toads with this return-to-work-thing, but kiss each and every one of them. Because all of them teach you how to kiss differently, and waa-laa, soon you’re the best kisser in town, and getting paid to do it.

Thank You Randall: Honey Badger Now a Verb
Broken Ass but Solid Vows

Comments

  1. Kelli, Kellogg, Kellzer, Calleen, Squaleen..whatever says

    April 28, 2011 at 12:19 pm

    :o) Happy for you Kate!!! Yeah!!!

    Reply
  2. irishtwinsmommababybook says

    April 28, 2011 at 5:07 pm

    That is great advice. So I have to embrace this piece of crap place I’ve been calling home since five years ago, after graduating? I still have to kiss it because it’s still a really big fat toad?????? 😉

    So happy for you! Obviously, you really deserve it! Things like this happen to great people!!!

    Reply
  3. Kathy (p/t writer, f/t mom) says

    April 28, 2011 at 5:47 pm

    @oldirishfriend: thx call! luv seeing ur smiley face here. *kisses*

    @newIRISHfriend: Take what u learned at that big fat 5 yr old toad to the streets. find another toad, learn a bit more, and move on if unhappy! Go where someone thinks you’re as great as you are!

    Reply
  4. irishtwinsmommababybook says

    April 28, 2011 at 11:18 pm

    Thanks, Kathy!!! 🙂 In time– timing is everything. 🙂 (Raising babies, buying houses, etc.) it’s all in due time. But soon, so soon, I will kiss the toad good-bye. 🙂

    Reply
  5. Michelle Saunderson says

    April 29, 2011 at 2:23 am

    Congrats! I am still trying to get the taste out of my mouth from the last toad I kissed.

    Reply
  6. Kathy says

    April 29, 2011 at 3:29 pm

    I just found you via the Motherboard piece on motherhood. I’m so happy for you that you found something you really love! I just started blogging this year when my youngest started kindergarten this year, I too don’t know where it will lead but I am enjoying my baby steps! Thanks for the post!

    Reply
  7. vanita says

    April 30, 2011 at 1:12 am

    Excellent! Excellent! Excellent!I’m dieing from suspense though. I’d love to see the website. palease. i didnt find a link in your post.

    Reply
  8. vanita says

    April 30, 2011 at 1:13 am

    oh and by the way, you’re bloody inspiring i tell ya’

    Reply
  9. Mrs. Tuna says

    April 30, 2011 at 8:10 pm

    I am currently holding my breath that I keep my job, i will not freak out, i will not freak out, it will not freak out…….

    Reply

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About Kathryn Mayer

Kathryn Mayer

An irreverent storyteller with a foul mouth and big heart, Kathryn Mayer (aka Kathy and/or Kate) is a writer, humorist, and (former) activist writing out loud with humor and grace about little life moments with big ripples, including the space between parenting and aging parents, social issues, angsty reflections of midlife, and, sigh, gun humpers. Still. Sometimes a big deal, sometimes not Mayer is a national award-winning columnist, according to the National Society of Newspaper Columnists, and her essays have been recognized as Voice of … Read More Here...

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