• Home
  • As seen on …
    • Advocacy Work
  • About the writer
  • Contact Me
  • Portfolio
  • Get Involved
    • Bloglovin
    • Facebook
    • Instagram
    • LinkedIn
    • Pinterest
    • Twitter

Kathryn Mayer • Writing Out Loud

I write stuff down. writer • humorist • activist

The Time When My Sister Learned the Truth

July 28, 2011 by Kate Mayer 10 Comments

wearing workout clothes inside out

I have a younger sister who owns the title, “hot sister” and has since 198something. It’s pretty well deserved. She’s 40 now, and still has that “hot” element working for her.  (Actually over 40 but would never admit it.)

You know those skinny-minny, sexy biker shorty-shorts nobody in their right mind past the age of freshman-forty have the right to wear?

My sister can wear them. And wears them well.

The fucker.

She’s skinny. And strong.

Blonde.

Fit.

Somewhat hip.

Tattooed, but not in a trashy sort of way. (Okay, maybe a teeny, tiny-bit trashy.)

And for as long as I can remember, she’s been turning heads.

So it was no surprise when she called me, to gloat about extra attention she recently received while working out at her gym.

When at the gym one morning, as she is every day pre-dawn, various younger-than-she muscle-y dudes paid her a bit more attention than usual.

Ample smiles and head nods. Men glancing towards her with smiles – all morning long.

‘How you doing?’ inquiries to her well-being.

“I admit, I was sooooo loving it,” she confessed.

Knowing, she’s still got it. She’s still the hot chick. Forty, schmorty, she can wear the same jeans from high school and her boobs weathered the breastfeeding storm much better than mine.

She has two teenagers, her own business, an ex-husband, and was still hot stuff. The proof was in the gym.

Except when she got to the locker room and realized why she had earned so much attention this fine day.

A panty-liner stuck smack dab in the center of her forehead would not garner as much attention.

Remember those cute biker shorts? You know how they come with a built-in, breathable, white 100% cotton crotch as big Toledo?

Do you have any idea what those cute shorts look like on an ass – any ass – when worn INSIDE OUT? With the stark white panty-liner stretched clear from sea to shining sea?

All those guys in the gym sure do.


Ouch: When the Truth Hurts
My Boy is No Vagina Cleaner

Comments

  1. Kathy says

    July 28, 2011 at 9:42 pm

    Very funny!

    Reply
  2. Kathy (p/t writer, f/t mom) says

    July 28, 2011 at 9:49 pm

    Not sure lil’ sis will find it so funny on line, but she did laugh hysterically telling me the story!

    Reply
  3. Mouthy Housewife says

    July 28, 2011 at 10:05 pm

    Ewwwwww! Hilarious.

    –Wendi

    Reply
  4. irishtwinsmommababybook says

    July 28, 2011 at 11:05 pm

    HA HA HA!!!!! I’m glad she was laughing when she was telling you! Shows she’s a great sister/friend that can laugh at herself.

    Reply
  5. Kathy (p/t writer, f/t mom) says

    July 29, 2011 at 2:47 am

    No worries! This girl can laugh at herself 24/7! And more important, can take it when I laugh at her!

    Reply
  6. bzee4maker says

    July 29, 2011 at 1:54 pm

    As always, hysterical!!!

    Reply
  7. vanita says

    July 29, 2011 at 8:47 pm

    OMG. Lucky for you, you’re very in-shape sister can laugh at herself. OMG.

    Reply
  8. Kathy (p/t writer, f/t mom) says

    July 30, 2011 at 3:30 pm

    She can laugh at herself…but won’t be laughing if she reads I made this so very public!

    Reply
  9. Mrs. Tuna says

    July 31, 2011 at 1:32 am

    My sister has great big hooters and was little and cute. Much different then my condor like wing span and itty bitty titties. Every time I brought a boy home, she flash and giggle, agree to go out on one date and then they never darkened our door again.

    I feel vindicated her giant boobs droop now……

    Reply
  10. Kathy (p/t writer, f/t mom) says

    July 31, 2011 at 12:55 pm

    The bigger they are…. the lower they fall! PS: My CB handle (remember? do you? “Breaker 1-9…”) was Itty Bitty Titty, back in the day when I was 14. BF was Bionic Boob!

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Never Miss A Post!
Enter your email address below to receive updates in your Inbox.
No Spam. Promise.
Rams hubbard
Follow @kathykatemayer Tweets by @kathykatemayer

Categories

Lucky Me!

Archives

About Kathryn Mayer

Kathryn Mayer

An irreverent storyteller with a foul mouth and big heart, Kathryn Mayer (aka Kathy and/or Kate) is a writer, humorist, and (former) activist writing out loud with humor and grace about little life moments with big ripples, including the space between parenting and aging parents, social issues, angsty reflections of midlife, and, sigh, gun humpers. Still. Sometimes a big deal, sometimes not Mayer is a national award-winning columnist, according to the National Society of Newspaper Columnists, and her essays have been recognized as Voice of … Read More Here...

Never Miss A Post!
Enter your email address below to receive updates in your Inbox.
No Spam. Promise.
75 kate[at]kathrynmayer[dot]com
xo Kate
  • Home
  • As seen on …
  • About the writer
  • Contact Me
  • Portfolio
  • Get Involved

Copyright © 2022 Kathryn Mayer Designed By: J9 Designs