The wonder of it all

Kids have such a sense of wonder, it got me thinking, just where did mine go?

I don’t think it’s gone-gone exactly, it’s been significantly re-adjusted, like straps on an old bra, not quite holding me up but not all the way broke quite yet either.

Now I look for wonder in the small spaces.

For example, when asked for a username and password, I carefully tap it in, then cross, and double-cross my fingers, hold my breath, Bewitch my nose, and pray to the google gods that it does indeed work.

If and when it does, I exhale in sheer wonder at the beauty of it all.

When the tire is flat and tank on E, or I can’t find the Bills on TV, or the half n half is empty, or find dog puke near the front door, or HBO wants a code to continue watching, these minor inconveniences are enough to push me

right                   over                            the

edge.

Maybe it’s because I’ve been tackling such enormous problems, it’s the little ones that do me in.

But instead of sticking my head in the oven, I grab the dogs and get outside.

Somehow, the air and the sky and the trees make everything better. Not immediately, but faster than Advil or wine, and definitely better than the oven.

The world is so bleak on a universal scale, our country so dismal on a national scale, and my own itty-bitty ripple of a minuscule life has been so extremely difficult on the personal scale, that my sense of wonder is on a sliding scale.

For me, wonder does not come with the awe of a sunset or the sparkle of the stars or the grace of a giant blue heron carrying a fish so low to the water it creates a small wake.

Instead, my jaw drops open in awe when things don’t go as extremely terribly wrong as anticipated, but instead, just lean a little bit toward slightly less awful.

Like the flat tire wasn’t on 684. At night. In the rain. It was just in the parking lot of the hospital — not too bad, not at all. Doable, you know?

And that, my friends, is a huge win in my book.

For example, I just went to get a flu and COVID vaccine, and was prematurely ready to be turned away because of:

A: RFK, jr

B: supply chain

C: CDC defunct

D: insurance denial

E: not old enough to qualify but definitely old enough to die

F: inevitable likelihood of getting covid/flu/pink eye/ick in line at CVS or Walgreens

Even though I book my vaccines online, as instructed, and I actually do have my insurance card and ID in hand, and arrive on time on the correct day, even though even though even though, the overworked, underpaid pharmacy clerk will likely tell me they:

A: have no record of my appointment or

B: I’m at the wrong location or

C: They are, once again, short-staffed and unable to vaccinate at this time

D: Out of stock or

E: Not FDA-approved to provide vaccines

Instead, to my surprise, delight, and immense relief, I find no line, no waiting, and pow-pow, one in each arm and just-like-that, I’m covered.

Ahhh, the wonder of it all.

Protected for another year.

Yay me.

And I sit in awe at just how amazing science is, and just how stupid we are not to fully appreciate and fund the wonder of it all.