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Kathryn Mayer • Writing Out Loud

I write stuff down. writer • humorist • activist

To Give or Not to Give . . .

December 8, 2008 by Kate Mayer 2 Comments

I’ve got my list and I’m checking it twice. Family, kids, neighbors, cousins . . . and, uh oh, clients. I’m a freelance copywriter and want to remain in good standing with my clients so I, like many other vendor/client relationships, plan on bribing them with extravagant gifts for the holidays. You see, lobbying isn’t restricted to Washington. We all do it, every holiday season.

I know how it works. As an ex-cube resident, I do recall the ooohs and ahhhs when packages arrived this time a year. Many presents were smuggled out unbeknownst to the real worker-bees who deserved the gift, but the supervisor got the goods. Some goodies were spread amongst the staff for everyone to enjoy. Some dumped into the coffee room for cube vultures to pick apart. Some presents wowed and created jealously, and some were regifted at a colleague’s wedding, still in the blue box with satin ribbon, and often the card still tucked inside. Oops.
But as a freelancer — the gift-giver, I want to do something to thank the people I work for often. I truly like these people who trust me to make them look good. But what to do? A donation to a worthy cause is PC and conscience cleansing, but still, I’d like them to have a little something too. Something they fight over, not dump into the common area or re-gift.
But there’s also the clients that you need to do something for, but would rather not.  My husband says to mail them something for Ground Hog’s Day instead, cuz that’s the turnaround on payment I get. And some, pay me so little and work me so hard, that I should be getting the big fat present under the tree and coal for them. But that’s slightly Grinchy, don’t you think?
But back to the super clients. Not necessarily people I love working for, although there’s those too. But the clients that work me hard, pay me well, teach me lots, and leave me not only with timely payment, but a finished product I’m proud to show off.
And I’ve come up with the perfect gift!
This is PERFECT.
Why not give my clients what my own family fights over every single year? Talk about vultures, we make the 3+ hour drive to grandma’s in two in order to beat the cousins to the cookies.
My talents end at the keyboard, so I’m relying on my super-talented sister-in-law to make me look good — I mean, spread the holiday cheer. See, she bakes. Real, homemade Christmas cookies that the aroma alone is good for 5 to 7 pounds. So she’s creating, baking, boxing, sending to my clients as an authentic, heartfelt thank you! Homemade delicious love, direct from me (or a close relation via marriage) to my dear clients. And I guarantee her baking will generate more leads than my portfolio ever could. But then it’ll be my job to provide the goods.

All Was Calm
Fat Lady Singin’

Comments

  1. Anonymous says

    December 10, 2008 at 4:14 am

    Personally I think that’s a terrific gift, however I may be a little biased. I have given and received some homemade concoctions that would either melt your heart or break your teeth. So, hopefully your sister-in-law is all she’s cracked up to be.

    Reply
  2. Anonymous says

    December 10, 2008 at 4:29 am

    DoaO-R,

    Love your style–in writing and in gift giving! I have given kick-butt homemade yeast bread before and wowed the masses. If it is anything to eat, seems like it’ll be a hit in most offices!

    Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukah to you and yours!

    C. S.

    Reply

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About Kathryn Mayer

Kathryn Mayer

An irreverent storyteller with a foul mouth and big heart, Kathryn Mayer (aka Kathy and/or Kate) is a writer, humorist, and (former) activist writing out loud with humor and grace about little life moments with big ripples, including the space between parenting and aging parents, social issues, angsty reflections of midlife, and, sigh, gun humpers. Still. Sometimes a big deal, sometimes not Mayer is a national award-winning columnist, according to the National Society of Newspaper Columnists, and her essays have been recognized as Voice of … Read More Here...

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