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Kathryn Mayer • Writing Out Loud

I write stuff down. writer • humorist • activist

Gettin’ Some

February 4, 2009 by Kate Mayer 4 Comments

In my town, if you start to look good, really good, it is assumed, rather accurately, you’re having an affair. Men or women, this is universal suburban slander for anyone over, oh, say 40. Forty is such an easy target.

Too thin, too fit, good hair, nice clothes, shoes. Real shoes, instead of crocs, Uggs, or sneaks. Bingo. Marriage over, someone’s stepping out and so begins the gossip race to find out whom with.

Except when they’re not.

Take for instance, my acquaintance, almost friend, Stacy who looks downright fabulous. Young and hip and smooth and driven — a woman with a mission. And three kids, two dogs, a husband, and now I find out, a job. For the past 10 years, whenever I saw her at the bus stop, a road race, in a variety of gyms or concerts or open houses, she usually looked like me. Running clothes all day long, perhaps clean hair. Perhaps not. Lipstick means a big date night . . . with the girls.

But lately, Stacy’s got it going on. She looks great, really great. All the time. Good hair, clothes, a smile. But it’s more than that. She walks different. Holds herself different. It’s freaky.

Not being able to take it any longer, I asked. Not her of course, but in the check-out line manner of all good neighborhood gossip, her friend. “Is Stacy having an affair because, come on, have you seen her? I mean, really! Is she?”

Nope. She’s not. She’s got a job. Her part-time gig went full time and so went her confidence. Talk about sexy. She’s got a job she loves and her confidence is contagious and her demeanor flirtatious and her enthusiasm infectious. She has a job she’s good at and they love her and she loves them. It’s flexible and rewarding and it shows. She’s happy. Her kids are happy. Her husband is happy. And she exudes confidence and exuberance.

I want to get myself a little of that action.  Me and a few of my closest friends. And neighbors. And relatives. And perhaps a few more . . .


Who You Calling Old?
Biting My Tongue during racist conversation

Comments

  1. Kerry says

    February 6, 2009 at 1:28 pm

    A certain someone pointed me to your blog – I love it and I have bookmarked it.

    What you don’t know about Stacey is that she always had it goin on. What you didn’t see is that beyond the bus stop (and I’d be surprised if you din’t see it there) is that people are just drawn to her. As in – everyone. Now her outside matches her inside and instead of hating that, I’m inspired. Now *that* is a special person.

    Reply
  2. Elizabeth says

    February 6, 2009 at 2:13 pm

    I can only second Kerry’s comment. Stacey is one of the most genuine people who walk on the face of this earth. Even on her bad days, her true spirit shines through like a blazing sun. She’s the best friend a girl could ask for. No matter the distance or the time, Stacey is always there for you. This mom has definitely got it goin’ on!

    Reply
  3. Anonymous says

    February 10, 2009 at 1:16 pm

    My bet is she’s having an affair or thinking about it. Going back to work, though nice, isn’t all that transformational.

    Reply
  4. Anonymous says

    February 19, 2009 at 3:20 pm

    I am happy for all the Staceys of this world, but I get up to go to work every day,& all the people I run into @ work say that they can really tell I love my job, BUT unfortunately I (not now or ever) have got it goin’ on. If you could clue me in on anything else that could put that initial spunk into my system (even inward, i’m not big on the whole outward thing)I would be eternally grateful. I thought by the age of 40 I would be comfortable in my own skin, however I realize I still would trade it in a heartbeat.

    Reply

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About Kathryn Mayer

CT writer humorist activist kathryn mayer

An irreverent storyteller with a foul mouth and big heart, Kathryn Mayer (also known by Kathy and Kate), is a writer, humorist, and activist writing out loud with humor and grace about the little moments of life with big ripples, including parenting, social issues, midlife, and, sigh, gun violence prevention. Sometimes a big deal, sometimes notMayer is national award-winning columnist, according to the National Society of Newspaper Columnists, and her essays have been recognized as Voice of the Year from SheKnows/BlogHer, named Best … Read More Here...

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