I never planned on using my real name when this blog was started. I desired anonymity to share without repercussion, guilt, alas, ownership and responsibility. But after reading my own version of self-help books: Crush It, Trust Agents, InBound Marketing, I learned something quickly: if you want something, you better own it.
This is me: my brand, my copy, my errors, my ideas. Attaching my name provides authority, credibility, sometimes humility and embarrassment, but thankfully, quite often pride.
So I have something to say:
I have name issues. Name ambiguity. Not an identity crisis per se, rather I consider myself nomenclature challenged.
I have name issues. Name ambiguity. Not an identity crisis per se, rather I consider myself nomenclature challenged.
Not with the last name. Mayer. That’s mine – always has been and always will be. As one of four daughters, I was distinctly aware of the self-destructive nature of changing my name when married. Seemed barbaric to erase who I had been forever, to become someone else with a ring. Still does. (Please don’t rant about how Mayer is my dad’s name. A girl has got to start somewhere.)
Raised by a working mother – an educated, opinionated, cursing, loud-mouthed feminist, she had one thing to say when I kept my name.
Raised by a working mother – an educated, opinionated, cursing, loud-mouthed feminist, she had one thing to say when I kept my name.
“People are going to think your kids are illegitimate.”
Real turn-of-the-century of her, wasn’t it? Informed and educated, eh? However, I insisted in 20 years all women would keep their names. Apparently, I was a bit off on that one. And people do think we’re divorced. Ahhhh, the ‘burbs.
It’s the first name that screws everything up. Kathryn. Kathy. Kate. K. Kath. Which is it? Colleagues searching on LinkedIn are confused. High school friends don’t know Kate. Kids called me Miss Kate when they were young, now Mrs. E, more often, Mrs. M. Teachers stutter, referring to me as the kid’s mom. Administrators send snail mail to Mr. and Mrs. Hunky Husband, circa Fred and Wilma.
Pre-college I was Kathy. Post, Kate. Work pre-kids, Kathy. Going back to work, Kate. Old colleagues, Kathy. New, Kate. Coined Kathykate by a friend, but sounds a bit like Misty May and wouldn’t want to mislead people, although it could be fun. Business cards (yes, they still make those) Kathryn. I’m a mess.
Does the evolution of a name reflects the evolution of a person? I don’t know. Will this name ambiguity hurt my rise to blogger heaven? Not sure yet.
Do you have name issues? Did you change your name when married? Are you struggling to reclaim it if divorced? Do you have one name for work and another for home? Tell me I’m not alone.
Could apply somewhat to guys too. My brother was named Bradley but called Josh from birth through high school. Post HS = Bradley. Parents couldn’t agree on a name. People do get confused. Especially since he just returned to where we grew up.
Honestly, people know him for WHO HE IS! The name straightening-out becomes secondary.
Yes, I get the importance AND I bet that’s the case with you too, Kate. I’ll enhance your fame!
Oh: No I don’t have name issues, yes I changed my name while also changing middle to maiden. All the same work and home with the addition of Mom 🙂
that’s IT’LL enhance your fame, ugh.
I took my husband’s name and actually struggle more now with my identity than ever. Every time I give my name I’m asked, “Any relation to…?” So now I have a name that’s only me by marriage. We have no celebrities by any stretch of the imagination but, then again, it’s all relative.
I love the photo. It could/should be your book jacket cover!
Work & Home are different 🙂
Love the wordle!!
I have always had the same first name, but the last name became and issue when I got married. I mean you have to change a gazillion accounts and you have to learn a new signature. Then when I got divorced I had to figure out what name to have. In fact I just blogged about that last week. http://msaunderson.blogspot.com/2010/10/keeping-his-last-name-yes-i-did.html
hey michelle: had a friend who married a russian with a foot-long last name. asked her ON HER WEDDING DAY if she was gonna take it. Her response? We’ll see if we stay married first. ON HER WEDDING DAY! ps. they didn’t.
the name game happens all the time at work, people get married, HR changes some of their info and not others, very confusing. Make it easy just keep it
I’ve been struggling with the first name issue all my life. Go figure, my own brothers didn’t know that my REAL name, was/is, as you know me: Calleen. To add more fuel to the fire, my parents had to spell it the way it sounds, not the way people expect it to be, Colleen. But we can’t stop there – my nickname, nope not Kelly but Kelli!! Kelli, by the way, is all the rage now! If I had a penny for every time someone asked, “how do you get Kelli out of Calleen?” I’d be a very wealthy woman right now (who’d probably have to change her name!)
I am proud of the name I was born with and after TWO marriages (one I am still in LOL) I REFUSE to change my name to HIS.
However, this means you either have to explain a lot…or let people guess why. Going to the doctor is hell because I never remember the name they have on file. I have decided to embrace my ALTER-ego and live with the dual name game. I kept my name for work…or thats what I tell people. Truth is, for me, my name is ME and I love it 🙂
KEEP your name, eventually the world will catch up.
Well, my first name is… my name. I blog with it, though not with my last name, to preserve some anonymity, due to my field. As to my last name… I’m getting married in five months. I haven’t started working yet, so I don’t have to keep my last name for professional reasons. I honestly don’t know what I’ll do.
Something to think about for sure! Congrats on upcoming wedding. ps: keep your name. it’s you.
Thankfully, or so I thought my first name is one that nicknames apply to, unfortunatelt you then enter my family where Wendy becomes Wendell, Weiners Wendellen, and a variety of other names so I took my Husbands last name and that only leads to more changes, but better that than someone finding their thrill on ‘ol Wendy Hill (maiden name)