Thelma & Louise I am Not. At Work Anyways…

I’m not so badass at work. Honest.

To make up for my two lackluster p/t jobs that should total 20 hours/week each, but instead total a whopping 7 when I’m lucky, I have job opportunity for yet another, perfect, part-time, work-at-home, flexible position.

This opportunity is not going to assist the college fund, or even help buy a banana suit, but it’s such a perfect fit I had to apply, since the jobs I have consistently shoot blanks.

But there’s a flag on the play.

The posting appeared with Women@WorkNetwork, a professional placement firm specializing in supporting, networking and placing mid to high-level women returning to work in executive, career-oriented occupations.

Which I’m not any of, but I do happen to have the skills they need for this particular position, and am willing to work for the measly “extra cash” hourly rate.

But it must be killing them to see me throw my hat into the ring. Talk about awkward. It’s not finding my current job on Craigslist awkward, but it is slightly uncomfortable. More for Women@Work than for me, thank goodness.

Here’s the deal:

Women@Work launched my original blog, Diary of an On-Ramper, but then duct tape my mouth shut from using “inappropriate language.” (It was blow-job that pushed them over the edge.) So I toned it down, and the blog became quite boring and oh-so professional. And no one read it. No. One.

Then I read the great social media gurus and realized I could hone my social media skills, practice on my blog, and really start to make things happen

I didn’t go rogue, I just went 21st century. And things started to happen. Like hits, and comments, and traffic. And job leads and experience. Clients love it, and I’ve received more leads via Return-to-Work Mom than Monster, Yahoo, Craigslist or any employment postings.

Women@Work is afraid. They don’t know what to make of me. They don’t want to be embarrassed by an unscreened nutjob they refer to a valuable client. They think I’ll be driving my John Deere into their office, with my Carharrt overalls and a tin of Skoal shoved in my bra. Right here in posh Volvo Country.

Which is not entirely off base, but I wouldn’t wear that to an interview.

I clean up good, and most readers realize this blog is coming to my house unannounced, to shoot the shit, and are not the least bit annoyed it’s not vacuumed or I’m not showered. And clients love the fact I have a blog and know how to use it. They want me to do that for them too; which I do, time and time again, without the cuss words.

My work is my work: professional, clean, polished, and ready for show. There’s a distinct difference, and most everybody knows it. And soon they will also.