This is Only a Test

Gave my rather attractive husband an unannounced pop-quiz.

And glad to say he passed, and in fact, is still alive today to brag about it.

Not because he actually passed, but he was smart enough to keep his mouth shut about what he doesn’t know. This post is sure to piss-off the dads at Dadcentric, but fellas? It’s my life.

Here’s how it went down:

See, you may have heard I have a job now. And my boss lady like to meet and talk about, work. And because she’s smart and savvy kinda fun to be around and is in fact paying me, I like to talk to her.

But the orthodontist doesn’t know this, and the appointment conveniently scheduled 6 months ago for 8:30 am is in direct conflict to my weekly meeting.

In steps my rather attractive husband. Or rather, I threw him into the ring.

This appointment was for Boy, kid#4, our fourth kid to see the same exact orthodontist who has treated every one of our kids. We are, in fact, the sole contributor to his lavish 401K. Kid1 has had a used car’s worth of jaw realignment and teeth straightening and is, today, painstakingly gorgeous: one 3 month appointment at a time since 2nd grade.

We’ve been seeing Dave, our miracle worker orthodontist, for a decade. He drives a motorcycle and plays Twisted Sister and Van Halen in the office.

Boy says: “He’s pretty cool, you know, for an old guy.”

But the kids’ sperm donor father seems to have selectively missed this expensive portion of the childrearing years.

So when the orthodontist-work conflict arose, I didn’t ask, but rather dictated he needed to take Boy to the appointment, then directly to school.

And rather attractive husband did not balk, quaver, or hesitate. And he did not ask where said orthodontist was located (learned that lesson in 2007 when he asked where the pediatrician’s office was). He didn’t ask what time school started. He simply said,

“Okay.”

Good job.

When leaving simultaneously from our suburban cocoon, before he drove out of sight, he did manage to roll down the window and ask,

“Exit 5, right?”

So close. We were so close.

We were so close to domestic bliss I could taste it. But I give him an A for effort, and an A+ for the smarts to ask from the safety of a moving vehicle.