If You Give a Mom Some Tweezers…

The absolute one thing I must bring on vacation is ….. drumrolllllll…..

Because, well, the hairs growing out of my chinny-chin-chin are abundant. Once rare, they now seem to form a sparse 5:00 shadow, in a desolate sort of way. So tweezers are my mainstay. Over lipstick. Over tampons. Over moisturizer. This was my must-have item to be left with on a desert island.

Tweezers.

But no more.

Because if you give a 46 and 11/12ths mom some tweezers, you better give her some cheaters to go with them. Because there’s nothing growing on her face that she can recognize without the 1.75+ readers balanced on her nose.

Because you can’t see the shit growing on your lip. Or chin. Or neck. Or runaway eyebrow patch. If you can’t see it, you don’t know it’s there because your rather attractive husband is blind also, and the cheap drugstore readers don’t seek out whiskers.

So from 45 forward, if you don’t want to be that woman with a beard, this is the most important thing to take on vacation:

Do it. Because even though you think you don’t care, when you return from a week away from home, to good lighting, sharp tweezers and a big ass, honeybadger mirror, you know you’re going entirely freak over the survival of the fittest Darwinian experiment growing on your chin.Forget the make-up and sunscreen. Don’t worry about flip-flops and underwear and swimsuit.

Take the 10x mirror and tweezers. And the readers; don’t forget the cheating reader glasses so you can grab those hairs once you find them.