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Kathryn Mayer • Writing Out Loud

I write stuff down. writer • humorist • activist

Mom Live Tweets Daughter’s First Date

October 7, 2011 by Kate Mayer 8 Comments

Twitter, we have a problem.

Apparently I’m finally popular in high school, except I’m um, some 30 years late.

Here’s what went down:

On Twitter, I unleash my inner mean 8th grade girl: I’m not proud of it. Okay, maybe a little bit proud. I heckle parents (anonymously) at Open House. I berate high school administrators (anonymously). I taunt power companies and local political leaders (not-so-anonymously). I give running commentary of parent crazies at soccer/swim/basketball/lax rather than watch 12 year olds run around (thank-god-anonymously or my kids would never get playing time).

And, while I’m not proud of this (because I got caught), I admit I did provide a live feed of Kid2’s arrival of first date with handsome upperclassman, which went as follows; start at bottom and read up:

Which I continued, nervously tapping away while waiting for a FOOTBALL player no-less, arrive to whisk my perfect daughter away. Again, start at the bottom (or email me and teach me how to reverse the order, thankyouverymuch).

The live action tweet didn’t phase Kid2, or rather attractive husband, or the seven 14 year olds giggling like bobbleheads with bells. Because seriously? No one is listening, no one is reading, except one local Dad who inadvertently discovered we were neighbors. Oops.

Everybody else who follows me is Canadian; for some reason I’m very big in Canada.

Didn’t stop tweeting: bottoms up people:

And then I tweeted that rather attractive husband was following them incognito.
Which was a lie.
Because I took the car keys away.
But here’s the problem:
It seems Kid2’s friends follow me and I’m not as anonymous as I once believed.
Tweets arrived warning us to leave them alone and not bother them and cut the crap and not to let Dad out of the house! Later, Kid2 informed me “everyone” at school was talking about it.
Kid2 didn’t seem to mind; not so sure about her date.
At 47 I’m finally popular in high school, and I so don’t want to be.
I considered twitter my own Adult Swim, anonymous live feed editorials of my little world, and instead I-yam-who-I-yam, on a soapbox in the public square of the high school cafeteria.
It’s my worst nightmare, except I’m wearing clothes.
Big time parent fail.
That said, the date was a teeny-tiny bit scared, and daughter was home by 10. All-in-all, not such a bad night.
But am on serious censor mode henceforth, which takes all the fun out of fun.
Sigh.

Playdate is a Curse Word
Committing Twittercide

Comments

  1. somedaysislikethat says

    October 7, 2011 at 2:51 pm

    Second locked account. Geez. We have to escort you into the 21st century. How do you think they run their facebooks?

    @schoolmarmDE

    Reply
  2. Robin K says

    October 7, 2011 at 8:05 pm

    “My Kid is on Twitter” Skit you not.

    Reply
  3. Mrs. Tuna says

    October 9, 2011 at 3:06 am

    Next move…..eat your young.

    Reply
  4. Kathy (p/t writer, f/t mom) says

    October 12, 2011 at 2:32 pm

    Okay. Unlocked but blocking twitter teenage spawn. Decision made.
    This is taking up way too many of my braincells.

    Reply

Trackbacks

  1. What I Want You To Know about 12-14 - Kathryn Mayer says:
    December 18, 2014 at 4:34 pm

    […] “I am NEVER having kids. Not EVER.” She eats more than a man. A big man. I live tweeted her first date. When a competing swim coach announced, perhaps a bit too loudly,  girls weren’t as strong as […]

    Reply
  2. A Blog Grows Up: The Big Switcharoo Begins - Kathryn Mayer says:
    February 3, 2015 at 12:42 am

    […] – all of them – to write, advocate, share work samples, and still poke fun and tell stories of my kids, my rather attractive husband, my family, and my […]

    Reply
  3. Working From Home During Summer Vacation - Kathryn Mayer says:
    February 3, 2015 at 2:11 am

    […] pretend she’s really loving, cuddly and compassionate.  Lifeguarding, coaching, teaching and looking for love. […]

    Reply
  4. Committing Twittercide - Kathryn Mayer says:
    February 5, 2015 at 2:52 pm

    […] locked my Twitter account. The brew-ha-ha over first date twittersode had local high school (as in the one my kids attend) students following me by the […]

    Reply

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About Kathryn Mayer

CT writer humorist activist kathryn mayer

An irreverent storyteller with a foul mouth and big heart, Kathryn Mayer (also known by Kathy and Kate), is a writer, humorist, and activist writing out loud with humor and grace about the little moments of life with big ripples, including parenting, social issues, midlife, and, sigh, gun violence prevention. Sometimes a big deal, sometimes not Mayer is national award-winning columnist, according to the National Society of Newspaper Columnists, and her essays have been recognized as Voice of the Year from SheKnows/BlogHer, named Best … Read More Here...

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