Brand spanking new year and I am so ready to take it by the chinese wontons and work the hell out of it!
Sorry, a bit too much Hangover quotes flying around this holiday season. Nothing says Christmas like your 17, 14 and 12 year old quoting The Hangover and equally inappropriate Step Brothers around the yule log.
The 12 year old, Boy, hasn’t seen either; only the play-by-play human Tivo Kid3 version. She can’t seem to pass geometry, but has every friggin’ word of these two movies in her permanent memory.
So proud. Just so proud.
2012, hear this: I am a work-at-home momming machine.
Not in the Duggar vagina-nut job manner, but rather in the I-Am-Woman-Hear-Me-Roar bring home the bacon and get in your face sort of momming.
I pledge to be a visible, living breathing Just Dance 1, 2, and 3 mama invading their teenage world at every available moment. No boundaries. No space. And yes, I will read your tweets, texts and Facebook direct messages and those of your friends. You’ve been warned: Keep your clothes on.
You get privacy when you pay the roaming charges on your cell phone and when your name in the paper doesn’t drag down the family mothership with it. No space. No wiggle room. Sound harsh? Too bad.
Call the ACLU. Call Child Protective Services. Go live with all the “cool parents” that think we’re too strict, too harsh, don’t respect your privacy. Never gonna happen.
I was rudely awakened to the fact that just because I have one kid in college, successful and moderately happy, this job ain’t done. Been there, done that doesn’t work when there’s 3 more waiting in the wings, and Rather Attractive Hubby and I can’t drop the ball now. We’ve got work to do before our RV sails (his dream, next wife) or our beach house awaits (my dream, never gonna happen). This show ain’t over.
I pledge to the best of my ability to ensure the kids are not-pregnant, heroin and Oxycontin free, not having sex with their choral director. And not tweeting pictures of their junk, red Solo cups or other impeachable items for all the world to see.
Keep your goals simple.
Set that bar yay-high, and parents, we’re bound to succeed. Not pregnant, no heroin, and no woulda-coulda-shoulda hangover come 2013.
It was Anchorman quotes for the boy 14 and his uncles here. The girl11 is still holding on to Winnie the Pooh by a thread!
now that i’m home, i’m so in their life and in their faces, i think the teens wish i’d “get a real job”. i’m beginning to think the toddlers think that too
Robin K says
Gives a whole new meaning to “firing on all cylinders”! I’ve had a couple rude awakenings of my own lately…
It may have also been mentioned to me that I “over-parent” I’m fine with that (but don’t get me wrong, I’m all for learning lessons…) what irked me was the lack of cohesion, so-to-speak, which is why the last bit of this post made me WHOL (WooHoo out loud)
And maybe a movie with a geometry theorems premise will open this year. I would def. go see that. Serious.
Kathy (p/t writer, f/t mom) says
@Andrea: how ‘about Will Ferrell as Winnie the Pooh? That should break her in nicely!
@vanita: you gots a real job girl. and you doing it FIIIIIIINE!
@robin: overparent the fuck out of that kid. literally. when he’s a teen of course.