Brand spanking new year and I am so ready to take it by the chinese wontons and work the hell out of it!
Sorry, a bit too much Hangover quotes flying around this holiday season. Nothing says Christmas like your 17, 14 and 12 year old quoting The Hangover and equally inappropriate Step Brothers around the yule log.
The 12 year old, Boy, hasn’t seen either; only the play-by-play human Tivo Kid3 version. She can’t seem to pass geometry, but has every friggin’ word of these two movies in her permanent memory.
So proud. Just so proud.
2012, hear this: I am a work-at-home momming machine.
Not in the Duggar vagina-nut job manner, but rather in the I-Am-Woman-Hear-Me-Roar bring home the bacon and get in your face sort of momming.
I pledge to be a visible, living breathing Just Dance 1, 2, and 3 mama invading their teenage world at every available moment. No boundaries. No space. And yes, I will read your tweets, texts and Facebook direct messages and those of your friends. You’ve been warned: Keep your clothes on.
You get privacy when you pay the roaming charges on your cell phone and when your name in the paper doesn’t drag down the family mothership with it. No space. No wiggle room. Sound harsh? Too bad.
Call the ACLU. Call Child Protective Services. Go live with all the “cool parents” that think we’re too strict, too harsh, don’t respect your privacy. Never gonna happen.
I was rudely awakened to the fact that just because I have one kid in college, successful and moderately happy, this job ain’t done. Been there, done that doesn’t work when there’s 3 more waiting in the wings, and Rather Attractive Hubby and I can’t drop the ball now. We’ve got work to do before our RV sails (his dream, next wife) or our beach house awaits (my dream, never gonna happen). This show ain’t over.
I pledge to the best of my ability to ensure the kids are not-pregnant, heroin and Oxycontin free, not having sex with their choral director. And not tweeting pictures of their junk, red Solo cups or other impeachable items for all the world to see.
Keep your goals simple.
Set that bar yay-high, and parents, we’re bound to succeed. Not pregnant, no heroin, and no woulda-coulda-shoulda hangover come 2013.