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Kathryn Mayer • Writing Out Loud

I write stuff down. writer • humorist • activist

Auditioning for Listen To Your Mother

February 27, 2012 by Kate Mayer 22 Comments

LTYM-logoI took this show on the road, this writing, this mouth, this mom, to NYC to audition for a pretty amazing opportunity. I signed up on a whim, and with careful encouraging and bullying from rather attractive husband, actually followed through and showed up for the audition.

Talk about intimidating. Say what you want, but an audition in NYC is an entirely different experience than typing away blindly into an internet void. This was a first-time for me, and I’m still sweating thinking about it.

Listen To Your Mother, is a Vagina Monologue type performance for those who have used their vaginas (or other vaginas) to become a mom, have a mom, had a mom, or want to reflect on motherhood. Penises welcome.

It’s a Mother’s Day performance that started small and has grown nationwide, under the watchful guidance of Ann Imig, writer extraordinaire and apparently a damn good mom as well. NATIONWIDE: like San Fran, Chicago, DC, Austin, Indiana, Spokane, Arkansas, NYC.

Big deal, huh? Here’s some video of past performances. I know, awesome right??? Tons of local communities featuring local writers speaking their words out loud. In front of people. Quite possibly lots of people.

So instead of competing with moms in my own quite corner of suburbia, I’m facing off with real, big wig, VIP moms. Moms with bios, head shots, and tv experience and off-Broadway roles. And regular moms with real twitter accounts, blogs with thousands of followers, while I have this: a big mouth and lots to say.

NYCBefore I headed to NYC on a sunny Sunday afternoon,  I received two of the best pieces of advice ever:

Jackie the beauty maker who keeps me youngish:
“What are you so freaked about? New York doesn’t hold the market on moms.”

And the Boy (kid#4): “Remember Mommy, it’s not over until security drags you out the door.”

So I did it. I was pittin’ out like crazy, tried to back out several times, but rather attractive husband had my back and ego in check, and delivered me to the fancy pants audition in person.

And even though my tongue swelled up to twice the size of my ass, I peeled it off the roof of my mouth and read.I went, I read, I cried. And I am so glad I did it.

I don’t know if I made it or not, but security did not drag me out the door, and the judges were real pros: genuinely nice, kind, and insightful, and the experience was life changing in itself. And for that, I am really, really grateful.


Lucky Charms, Slushies & Soccer
Giving BernDog Bacon

Comments

  1. Ann Imig says

    February 27, 2012 at 11:05 pm

    I pitted out playing a 16 year old when I was 20. On stage, in front of an audience in a tiny theater.

    Also, I learned the hard way that I needed to wear bras with lining after getting a glimpse of my refection (AND NIPS) after exiting an audition room full of auditors.

    Feel better?? 🙂

    And LTYM needs all kind of readers first-timers especially–that’s the heart of the project 🙂

    Reply
    • Kathy (p/t writer, f/t mom) says

      February 27, 2012 at 11:44 pm

      Well thanks for the visit, fancy-pants Ann’s Rants! My pits get kinda tingling when VIP bloggers sometimes stop by, but girl — you are welcome to my humble blog anytime! Seriously, thanks for LTYM. I really hope it works out for me, but those damn NYers are stiff competition! Regardless, thanks for the opportunity to feel like a real writer. The experience was absolutely awesomesauce.

      ps. sorry about your own very own J-Lo moment. Did you catch a glimpse of her nips at the Oscars last night!?!?! On costume award no less! Yikes!

      Reply
  2. Stacey says

    February 27, 2012 at 11:11 pm

    I’m sure I’m not the only (former New Yorker, now suburban) mom who appreciates your “big mouth” and honesty and prefers it to the “moms with bios, head shots, and tv experience and off-Broadway roles.” Break a leg – can’t wait to hear what happens next!

    Reply
    • Kathy (p/t writer, f/t mom) says

      February 27, 2012 at 11:44 pm

      won’t know for a week or so… but gave it my best shot!

      Reply
  3. vbjenn says

    February 27, 2012 at 11:53 pm

    Always proud, and often envious… this time, just proud (no way do I have enough nerve, and all my kids have paws!)

    Reply
    • Kathy (p/t writer, f/t mom) says

      February 28, 2012 at 9:06 pm

      insert hearty thingy here ___________

      Reply
  4. scanman says

    February 28, 2012 at 8:33 pm

    Kate, I always remark to Greg that I am AMAZED at the job you do with your kids, you are tops in the mom category all the way in my opinion. It is so GREAT that you have been able to balance your kids/job/home and life with such skill and seeming ease. I too am envious, hope you knocked them dead!!

    Reply
    • Kathy (p/t writer, f/t mom) says

      February 28, 2012 at 9:07 pm

      I
      have
      you
      fooled.

      Hopefully LTYM is fooled as well! (Pay no attention to the crazy mom behind the curtain!)

      Reply
  5. Holly says

    February 29, 2012 at 1:03 am

    You were brave, courageous and wonderful. It was an honor to meet you yesterday.

    Reply
    • Kathy (p/t writer, f/t mom) says

      February 29, 2012 at 5:00 pm

      you are too kind! thanks for the opportunity to show a kinder, gentler side!

      Reply
  6. Cristie Ritz King, M. Ed says

    February 29, 2012 at 1:07 am

    You were awesome and the husband is rather attractive.;) So glad I got to meet you both and we could pit out together in that grand space. Meeting you was the added bonus of the whole situation. Congratulations!

    Reply
    • Kathy (p/t writer, f/t mom) says

      February 29, 2012 at 5:02 pm

      Ok, there’s no way you were pittin’ out. And YOU KISSED THE JUDGE. Fuck-or-rama, I knew then and there there’s not enough deodorant in the world to fix what ails me. And damn girl, DOCTOR BLOGGER??? I was so sitting at the cool kids table! Thanks for being so nice — and good luck to you!!

      Reply
  7. vanita says

    February 29, 2012 at 10:49 am

    1. i saw your comment to Ann Rants about getting the chance to be a real writer. what are you kidding me? you’re a wonderfully real writer and i love your blog.

    2. you’d have a huge ass following if you had the time.

    3. if i knew you’d be here i would have brought a bunch of moms to your audition and hooted and hollered for you and laughed my ass off as usual.

    4. if you don’t make it, their loss this year, try again next year.

    don’t ever doubt yourself chica. you’re one wicked mom who knows how to serve up real life and be funny

    Reply
    • Kathy (p/t writer, f/t mom) says

      February 29, 2012 at 5:00 pm

      you are the bestest. I met a nice mom, Zulay @AdvOfModernMom at auditions and told her about you. Give her a shout on twitter — really, really nice!

      Reply
    • vanita says

      March 1, 2012 at 11:20 am

      I saw i saw! I’m so use to ppl introducing me to others on twitter who need wordpress help, that when you mentioned wordpress, i thought she needed help. lol. so i asked in my weird too casual way what i could do for her…and didn’t hear from her. lol. talk about screwing up a first impression.

      Reply
  8. Robin K says

    February 29, 2012 at 12:57 pm

    YOU’VE got what it takes! Like I’ve said, brains, brass, skill and a huge heart. We knew you when…whether you “make it” in to LTYM; you’ve been doing amazing (n. & v.) all along and no doubt will continue. It’s who you are. Way to go!

    Reply
    • Kathy (p/t writer, f/t mom) says

      February 29, 2012 at 5:05 pm

      grassyass. you are too kind.

      Reply
  9. irishtwinsmommababybook says

    February 29, 2012 at 5:41 pm

    How exciting!!!!!!! I’m sure you nailed it. Sounds like they want someone REAL. If you make it and hit it big, land yourself in S.F……you better get in touch with me!!!!!

    Reply
    • Kathy (p/t writer, f/t mom) says

      February 29, 2012 at 11:14 pm

      Everyone auditioning is so real! They have LTYM in San Fran, you should go! Listen this year, audition next!!!

      Reply

Trackbacks

  1. Austin Kleon advice for all artists says:
    January 30, 2015 at 3:07 am

    […] why I’m at Listen To Your Mother NYC, why I had the balls (or uterus) to audition, and why I didn’t run screaming from the room, I DON’T BELONG HERE, but instead, […]

    Reply
  2. Listen To Your Mother: Taking Your Kid to College says:
    January 30, 2015 at 3:28 am

    […] audition, the casting, the prep, the wardrobe, the […]

    Reply
  3. Listen To Your Mother winners for 2012 says:
    February 5, 2015 at 4:56 pm

    […] Remember when I put on my big girl pants and auditioned for Listen To Your Mother NYC? When I blathered on and on, my tongue swelled and pits pitted? While sitting there sweating and talking, I met some wicked nice people, who didn’t want to Tanya Harding me, but instead were supportive and friendly. Real friendly, not fake friendly. I can tell the difference. […]

    Reply

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About Kathryn Mayer

Kathryn Mayer

An irreverent storyteller with a foul mouth and big heart, Kathryn Mayer (aka Kathy and/or Kate) is a writer, humorist, and (former) activist writing out loud with humor and grace about little life moments with big ripples, including the space between parenting and aging parents, social issues, angsty reflections of midlife, and, sigh, gun humpers. Still. Sometimes a big deal, sometimes not Mayer is a national award-winning columnist, according to the National Society of Newspaper Columnists, and her essays have been recognized as Voice of … Read More Here...

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