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Kathryn Mayer • Writing Out Loud

I write stuff down. writer • humorist • activist

Writing Your Professional Bio

April 20, 2012 by Kate Mayer 12 Comments

gonna get my picture on the cover

First it was a headshot, and now they want a bio.

Like I’m a frickin’ rock star or something. Which I’m not, but not for lack of trying.

The Listen To Your Mother NYC performance is fast approaching (May 6th 2:00 pm), and the wonderful producers who have said bios and headshots are publishing Meet The Cast posts on the LTYM website, and eventually, it became my turn.

I scoured my brain to come up with something – anything – that made me seem… ummm, “substantial.”

I got nothing.

Except maybe this:

1. The 8th Grade Lecture: I give a now famous 8th grade speech. Didn’t realize it was famous until Kid3 was at her 8th grade dance, and tons of older teenagers started reciting the rules from memory.

2. Attacked a Coach: I once went after a coach for being a raving lunatic. Kid at the game: “Man, you shoulda seen Boy’s Mom throw DOWN!”  Totally backfired: everyone thought I was his wife.

3. Yesenia. Pseudo-Moms to a Fresh Air Fund tike I met when she was barely 7. She’s now making her way out of the South Bronx and gonna do something with her life. She’s 19, not pregnant and aiming for college. WIN.

4. Kid2 can read. After years of fighting the schools, my kid finally got the reading help she needed and nobody got (too badly) hurt in the process. I do have a restraining order against me by several administrators, but they can just suck it cuz my girl is looking at smarty pants colleges at this very moment.

5. I pierced my nose and ran the NYC marathon when I turned 40. Yes, I’m still talking about that.

6. ….?

Seriously, I spent hours trying to find something of merit to compete with the other LTYM rockstars. These writers have substantial credentials: books, movies, plays, by-lines, portfolios, agents, book signings, columns, blogs with massive followings, and several – several – have the all-time bragging rights of Oprah. Seriously.

Once upon a time, I worked for Rolling Stone Magazine. Yep, that Rolling Stone and it was that cool. I quit in 198something to live-in-sin with my rather attractive boyfriend. I made him promise that I would leave New York only if I would never look back and say Rolling Stone was the highpoint of my career.

And it’s not. I’ve got great kids, a rather attractive husband, a job that pays well, honest friends, and a town I love to call home.

And now that I’m a fancy pants presenter at Listen To Your Mother, I have my very own bio as well. If you think I am making it up, I am, and you can read all about it here.

And really that’s enough for me. Because honestly? Rolling Stone would most definitely frown upon my 8th grade speech.

 


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Crying in the Lord and Taylor Dressing Room

Comments

  1. Andrea says

    April 20, 2012 at 7:30 pm

    Hey! I think you’re a rock star…or something. No, ,let’s go with rock star! 🙂

    Reply
    • Kathy (p/t writer, f/t mom) says

      April 20, 2012 at 8:35 pm

      thanks sugah! If only rock stars went to bed at 9:15, then I do believe I could do it!

      Reply
  2. Robin K says

    April 20, 2012 at 8:57 pm

    All the important stuff down STRONG. The rest is gravy, potatoes and a kickass dessert with more to come. The LTYM cast is amazing. Yes, your bio is real-funny.

    Reply
  3. vbjenn says

    April 20, 2012 at 10:15 pm

    Always a rock star!!

    Reply
  4. vanita says

    April 20, 2012 at 10:21 pm

    i would add that you’ve got a wicked way with words and a heart so big you’d find time to help a woman you’ve never met! you’re also an inspiration for moms who are afraid to strike out on their own. and of course that YOU’RE KICK ASS. rolling stones lost out big time

    Reply
  5. irishtwinsmommababybook says

    April 21, 2012 at 3:03 am

    Wooooooooo hooo!!!

    Reply
    • Kathy (p/t writer, f/t mom) says

      April 25, 2012 at 6:56 pm

      kinda feeling a little wooohooo around here lately!

      Reply
  6. scanman says

    April 25, 2012 at 3:40 am

    OMG you ran a marathon? You know I’m kidding, they are soooo going to love you. I don’t think I have ever met anyone who has a better way with words, (yes evn the curse words rule when you use them) Go kick Ass and take names!

    Reply
    • Kathy (p/t writer, f/t mom) says

      April 25, 2012 at 6:56 pm

      why thank you, oh great one!

      Reply
  7. Mia says

    April 25, 2012 at 5:52 pm

    It’s nice to meet you. Vanita from Bedtime Blog told me about you. I really enjoyed your post!

    Reply
    • Kathy (p/t writer, f/t mom) says

      April 25, 2012 at 6:57 pm

      Vanita may be the Great Oz behind the blogging & twitter curtain. Pure genius!

      Reply

Trackbacks

  1. Listen To Your Mother: Taking Your Kid to College says:
    January 30, 2015 at 3:29 am

    […] audition, the casting, the prep, the wardrobe, the […]

    Reply

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About Kathryn Mayer

Kathryn Mayer

An irreverent storyteller with a foul mouth and big heart, Kathryn Mayer (aka Kathy and/or Kate) is a writer, humorist, and (former) activist writing out loud with humor and grace about little life moments with big ripples, including the space between parenting and aging parents, social issues, angsty reflections of midlife, and, sigh, gun humpers. Still. Sometimes a big deal, sometimes not Mayer is a national award-winning columnist, according to the National Society of Newspaper Columnists, and her essays have been recognized as Voice of … Read More Here...

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