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Kathryn Mayer • Writing Out Loud

I write stuff down. writer • humorist • activist

A Letter of Concern from a Mentally Ill Friend

December 21, 2012 by Kate Mayer 10 Comments

Mentally ill friend writes a note after Newtown massacreI received many notes of support about the horror here in Newtown, and appreciate every single one.

There is one more thoughtful and poignant than all the others, because of who it is from.

Back in 2008 I took a 12 week NAMI family-to-family class for people with family members suffering from mental illness, of which, I am one.

One evening, a guy showed up to share his powerful, personal story with us, and afterwards, I wrote him a small note of appreciation, which he apparently kept.

He wrote back, with love, kindness, and compassion. Here is what he said:


Hurting in Newtown
Where Everybody Knows Your Name

Comments

  1. mutterschwester says

    December 21, 2012 at 5:57 pm

    Thank you so much for sharing that card, those cards, really.

    We have stopped at the Blue Colony Diner for close to a decade now, as we travel from our area to our parents’ homes. I am wary of stopping on Sunday, as I don’t want to add to the still huge overflow of news and gawkers and off-site mourners.

    Our children (5, 4) don’t know about the events, so we wouldn’t stop by any sites, but still…it feels odd to make the stop. And then I remember how isolating mourning can be when people don’t know how to respond and so they just pull back. I think we’ll probably make an attempt to stop.

    All this to say, there are many people thinking of your town – and knowing how difficult it is to see the pages turn on the calendar without feeling as though they ought to be telling time so effectively. And, again, thank you for sharing.

    Reply
    • Kathy (p/t writer, f/t mom) says

      December 21, 2012 at 7:17 pm

      Please stop! Blue Colony has been a safe haven for my kids. It’s their “spot” and the waitresses & owners have shielded them from the media and allowed them to just be. And drive around, this needs to remain real for folks to remember.

      Reply
    • mutterschwester says

      December 21, 2012 at 9:29 pm

      You (and the always reliable eggs and waffles) have convinced me. So glad to hear they have been proactive with the media. Some of the reporters were shameful, even the day of.

      Reply
  2. Sarah Driscoll says

    December 21, 2012 at 7:59 pm

    Kate,
    You have a gift of always knowing what to say and how to say it, at least that is how I think of you! You and your family are so brave and wonderful and I know you are probably a rock for so many others hurting. I am holding my kids so tight these days, scared to let go. I can’t even imagine what your community and family are going through right now. I cry at the thought of what Christmas will be like for the families that have lost loved ones, presents already wrapped that won’t get opened, or empty chairs at the table. Please know I think of you often everyday. We miss you and love you.

    Reply
  3. Robin K says

    December 23, 2012 at 2:38 pm

    What Sarah said. Yes.

    So glad you shared this for so many reasons. Thank you.

    I also kept a note, a poem, from a girl across the hall. They have proven to be potent and important words.

    Take care of You. Thinking of You and Yours, Newtown continuously and sending vibes of love, strength, endurance. xo.

    Reply
  4. Mia says

    December 24, 2012 at 1:16 am

    Thank you for sharing. Sending you our deepest sympathy and keeping you in our thoughts and hearts.

    Reply
    • Kathy (p/t writer, f/t mom) says

      December 26, 2012 at 7:01 pm

      Thanks for reaching out. really appreciate it. xo

      Reply
  5. scanman says

    December 25, 2012 at 6:27 am

    I agree with Sarah. Know that we all think of you, your community and all the heartache that they and you are going through. Stay strong and be as supportive as I am sure you are and have always been. Sending extra love.

    Reply
  6. John Shirley says

    December 27, 2012 at 3:41 pm

    Kate,
    You need a hug. Lindy and I have been giving and receiving all the hugs we can here in Newtown.

    I also appreciate how you expressed yourself in the earlier post about the media in town. I wanted them to leave but knew I’d somehow miss them after the last funeral. I did not want their invasive microphone yet I so appreciate the stories of the little ones lives.
    John

    Reply
    • Kathy (p/t writer, f/t mom) says

      December 27, 2012 at 4:31 pm

      xo

      Reply

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About Kathryn Mayer

Kathryn Mayer

An irreverent storyteller with a foul mouth and big heart, Kathryn Mayer (aka Kathy and/or Kate) is a writer, humorist, and activist writing out loud with humor and grace about little life moments with big ripples, including the space between parenting and aging parents, social issues, angsty reflections of midlife, and, sigh, gun humpers. Still. Sometimes a big deal, sometimes not Mayer is a national award-winning columnist, according to the National Society of Newspaper Columnists, and her essays have been recognized as Voice of the Year … Read More Here...

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