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Kathryn Mayer • Writing Out Loud

I write stuff down. writer • humorist • activist

Halloween Hangover, Still

November 2, 2010 by Kate Mayer 3 Comments

Okay so apparently crazy birthday hell extended throughout the weekend. And past Monday. And into Tuesday because really, I’m still recovering. Or suffering. Same thing.

Should have figured as much, as Halloween will suck the life out of a normal mom with one kid, an OCD husband, housecleaner, full case of wine, health benefits, and car that starts on first go. So Boy’s actual birthday was cake, and too his party we take old school: our house, games, cheese doodles, silly string, and a few sword fights. But if one more kid threw one more pre-chewed grape, I calmly promised to beat them with the piñata stick, and old timers wisely believed me. Then onto Halloween for three kids with no costumes. With half-carved pumpkins half-dead on the kitchen counter, knives stabbing into eyeballs and broken teeth.

No biggie. We do this every year, but the year between deafens the blow so we do it again. And again, year after year. Ditto with labor, hence the four kids.


Except my clients apparently don’t have 11-year-olds jonesing for the be-all, end-all birthday party, complete with nasty, dead bug, slug slime scavenger hunt.

And they don’t have to make a Mr. Heat Miser, Yellow Tele-Tubbie and non-slutty Cow Girl before sunset. And they work weekends. Even Halloween weekend.

And so I selectively avoided emails and voicemails, but completed each and every assignment today. Before leaving at 2:00 pm for the afternoon rush of my other job: Mom.


In Life, Birthdays Happen
Read This Before Writing Doomed Cover Letters

Comments

  1. Anonymous says

    November 2, 2010 at 1:25 pm

    How about a little Hair of the Dog for that hangover

    Reply
  2. Kathy (p/t writer, f/t mom) says

    November 2, 2010 at 6:41 pm

    am enjoying it in the abundance of candy everywhere in this house. It’s EVERYWHERE…and I can’t stop. CAN’T. STOP. EATING. IT. ALL.

    Reply

Trackbacks

  1. Bribe Trick o' Treaters with the good candy - Kathryn Mayer says:
    November 2, 2016 at 3:08 pm

    […] forward 30 years, and I’m raising my own family in a quasi-suburb, looking forward to a real Halloween in a real neighborhood. Those first years, we celebrated with gusto, creating haunted walkways, cauldrons of hot apple […]

    Reply

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About Kathryn Mayer

Kathryn Mayer

An irreverent storyteller with a foul mouth and big heart, Kathryn Mayer (aka Kathy and/or Kate) is a writer, humorist, and (former) activist writing out loud with humor and grace about little life moments with big ripples, including the space between parenting and aging parents, social issues, angsty reflections of midlife, and, sigh, gun humpers. Still. Sometimes a big deal, sometimes not Mayer is a national award-winning columnist, according to the National Society of Newspaper Columnists, and her essays have been recognized as Voice of … Read More Here...

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