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Kathryn Mayer • Writing Out Loud

I write stuff down. writer • humorist • activist

Early Dismissal Sends Shit Flying

March 23, 2011 by Kate Mayer 11 Comments

It’s early dismissal for parent-teacher conferences here in my little town.But only in some schools, not all. And apparently parents are strictly on a need-to-know basis.

Got an email from a friend, who apparently had early dismissal bite her right in the ass, and she lived to tell about it.

*Posted with Permission from Nice-Friend Barb, who unlike me, seldomly says fuck, unless, of course, she’s outnumbered by crap and kids.

*************************

They came. They ate. They left.

Since you have a blog, I feel the need to vent to you . . . I don’t know why:

My afternoon so far:

Kid1 home early with friend’s kid bc that mom is at work and early dismissal day doesn’t work for her.  They don’t know how to entertain themselves bc at age 8, they are grossed out by the fact that he’s a boy and she’s a girl.  She is offended that he wants to play with her brothers instead of her.

Kid2 home with friend who I said sure, get off the bus here, bc Kid2 can’t entertain himself for an hour, let alone the entire, early dismissal afternoon.  Kid2’s friend already covered in mud, although I strongly suggested borrowing boots.  That kids’ mom gonna be pissed that $75 basketball shoes are ruined.

Plumber here to replace toilet that overflowed, draining to DR ceiling that we just had fixed from previous leak.

A better option than the toilet

Said toilet was of course fucked up by large dead fish that shoulda just gone in the bass-o-matic that exploded Sunday.  Plumber in basement notices septic emergency light lit, which prompts call to pissed husband, which leads to emergency call to septic dude since there’s poop overflowing the back yard and the tanks need to be drained ASAP so $1000+ pump can be replaced ASAP and now the credit card balance is gonna go sky-high again.

Kid3 texts me from (late) MS bus that his two buddies wanna walk through woods and have them come over.  Sure, what the fuck is the difference.

Kid2 runs in, tracking mud (cleaning lady came today) bc he’s gonna poop his pants…..can we have candy, can we have popcorn, how do we turn on the Wii, can we have food in the den although it’s never allowed, can we have Oreos, can we have lots and lots of messy food?

Kid1 parent calls and is running late how about that kid stays for another hour and half.

I was planning on cleaning out my closet and appliqueing onesie shirts that someone bought from me….

But instead I think I’ll just have a diet coke and revel in the domestic bliss of this afternoon.

Whatever was I thinking?


My Husband is Cheating on Me with a Tree
Playing Marco-Polo at Work

Comments

  1. Michelle Saunderson says

    March 23, 2011 at 12:37 pm

    My son just informed me that on Thursday and Friday of this week there is early dismissal. Of course, he has to be back at school Thursday night for a baseball game. Thank goodness I do not work a full time job out of the house, or I could never cope.

    Reply
  2. amycara says

    March 23, 2011 at 12:40 pm

    Sounds like Barb needs something a little stronger than a diet coke! Entertaining because it’s not my story. Hang in there Barb, you’re obviously a really good mom and friend!

    Reply
  3. Kathy (p/t writer, f/t mom) says

    March 23, 2011 at 12:57 pm

    Hoping today’s a better day for her. But with 6″ of March snow due today-2morrow, me thinks her house will be full yet again!

    Reply
  4. S. says

    March 23, 2011 at 10:08 pm

    Working from home drives me bananas. But I will say that on teacher work days etc, I’m grateful I don’t have to figure out what to do. Yes, there’s SACC. Good luck getting a spot!

    Reply
  5. irishtwinsmommababybook says

    March 24, 2011 at 5:34 am

    Oh geez!!! THis blog is going to be my bible and reference book when the girls get to this point.

    Why do schools do this?! Because those teachers have to be parents. A-holes. 😉

    Also, thank you for leaving a comment on my blog. I do agree– sometimes you feel as if you could just bite or nibble on your kids. I think it’s a mama feeling. 🙂

    Reply
  6. Michelle Saunderson says

    March 25, 2011 at 2:33 am

    I have awarded you a Stylish Blogger Award. You may pick up your award on my blog Let’s Make a Difference at http://solutionsarepower.blogspot.com/

    Reply
  7. KLZ says

    March 25, 2011 at 4:08 pm

    Diet coke solves everything. For serious.

    Reply
  8. Kathy (p/t writer, f/t mom) says

    March 25, 2011 at 4:26 pm

    Diet coke good; tequila better.

    Reply
  9. Paula Schuck says

    March 25, 2011 at 7:10 pm

    Hi. I am a new follower. Cheers and you are funny!
    http://www.thriftymommastips.blogspot.com/
    @inkscrblr

    Reply

Trackbacks

  1. Earning & Momming Done Good. Real Good. - Kathryn Mayer says:
    February 3, 2015 at 4:03 am

    […] a little busy around here, you know, with all the friggin’ SNOW DAYS and SCHOOL DELAYS and EARLY DISMISSALS that wreck havoc on every parent that works at […]

    Reply
  2. Schools Closed. Snow Day #4 - Kathryn Mayer says:
    February 3, 2015 at 4:07 am

    […] mid-day than drive carpool and shuffle kids all afternoon and evening, becomes intolerable when schools close early, start late, or gasp – close completely for snow […]

    Reply

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About Kathryn Mayer

Kathryn Mayer

An irreverent storyteller with a foul mouth and big heart, Kathryn Mayer (aka Kathy and/or Kate) is a writer, humorist, and (former) activist writing out loud with humor and grace about little life moments with big ripples, including the space between parenting and aging parents, social issues, angsty reflections of midlife, and, sigh, gun humpers. Still. Sometimes a big deal, sometimes not Mayer is a national award-winning columnist, according to the National Society of Newspaper Columnists, and her essays have been recognized as Voice of … Read More Here...

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