Early Dismissal Sends Shit Flying

It’s early dismissal for parent-teacher conferences here in my little town.But only in some schools, not all. And apparently parents are strictly on a need-to-know basis.

Got an email from a friend, who apparently had early dismissal bite her right in the ass, and she lived to tell about it.

*Posted with Permission from Nice-Friend Barb, who unlike me, seldomly says fuck, unless, of course, she’s outnumbered by crap and kids.

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Since you have a blog, I feel the need to vent to you . . . I don’t know why:

My afternoon so far:

Kid1 home early with friend’s kid bc that mom is at work and early dismissal day doesn’t work for her.  They don’t know how to entertain themselves bc at age 8, they are grossed out by the fact that he’s a boy and she’s a girl.  She is offended that he wants to play with her brothers instead of her.

Kid2 home with friend who I said sure, get off the bus here, bc Kid2 can’t entertain himself for an hour, let alone the entire, early dismissal afternoon.  Kid2’s friend already covered in mud, although I strongly suggested borrowing boots.  That kids’ mom gonna be pissed that $75 basketball shoes are ruined.

Plumber here to replace toilet that overflowed, draining to DR ceiling that we just had fixed from previous leak.

Said toilet was of course fucked up by large dead fish that shoulda just gone in the bass-o-matic that exploded Sunday.  Plumber in basement notices septic emergency light lit, which prompts call to pissed husband, which leads to emergency call to septic dude since there’s poop overflowing the back yard and the tanks need to be drained ASAP so $1000+ pump can be replaced ASAP and now the credit card balance is gonna go sky-high again.

Kid3 texts me from (late) MS bus that his two buddies wanna walk through woods and have them come over.  Sure, what the fuck is the difference.

Kid2 runs in, tracking mud (cleaning lady came today) bc he’s gonna poop his pants…..can we have candy, can we have popcorn, how do we turn on the Wii, can we have food in the den although it’s never allowed, can we have Oreos, can we have lots and lots of messy food?

Kid1 parent calls and is running late how about that kid stays for another hour and half.

I was planning on cleaning out my closet and appliqueing onesie shirts that someone bought from me….

But instead I think I’ll just have a diet coke and revel in the domestic bliss of this afternoon.

Whatever was I thinking?