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Kathryn Mayer • Writing Out Loud

I write stuff down. writer • humorist • activist

Thank You Randall: Honey Badger Now a Verb

April 16, 2011 by Kate Mayer 6 Comments

honeybadgerIf you haven’t met Randall’s Honey Badger yet, then you clearly don’t give a shit. And you live in a cave and not on the internet. Cuz Honey Badger is so badass. As is Randall.In our house, Randall is king.

King Randall.

So badass, that King Randall.

If you don’t think this is funny, move on now.

Seriously. Go. There’s nothing for you at my blog or my twitter account or my life. If this ain’t funny, then I got nothing for you.

Randall’s a deal breaker: he’s my line in the sand. Just click away now, no hard feelings.

Still here?

Great. Cuz this guy rocks and I’m making honey badger a verb.

Honey•badger: to viciously attack with no regard of consequences.

“I’m so gonna honeybadger his ass if he wakes me up.”

“We honeybadgered the IEP meeting.”

“Don’t worry; you’ll totally honeybadger that team next time!’

“Honeybadger the SATs sweetie!”

“Coach sure is honeybadgering the kids today.”

“Designer and I honeybadgered the job. Client loved it.”

“Please don’t honeybadger the waitress, it’s embarrassing.”

Hey Randall – would you, could you pretty please narrate our family reunion? Second Saturday in July. That would be so bad ass, we’d love it! Chicken, s’mores, hayride, softball, stories, and singing.Actually, I’d love it. Just me. And my rather attractive husband. And my kids.

Everybody else would hate it. As in really, really hate it. But they already clicked away, so let’s do this!

PS: Honeybadger is on twitter, but clearly doesn’t give a shit. So is Randall: a little less badass than the badger, but terrific just the same @randallsanimals.

PPS. People, still here? Yay! My gift to you: meet the Basilisk!


I Will Not Complain About Driving. I Will Not Complain About Driving. I Will Not Complain.
Best Kisser in Town Lands Great Job

Comments

  1. Kris says

    April 16, 2011 at 4:32 pm

    I’m not going to lie – I must have been living in a cave because I’ve never seen either of these – but oh goodness, they are hysterical! Thanks for showing me the way out from under my rock!

    Reply
  2. Robin K says

    April 17, 2011 at 2:57 pm

    DYING.
    I’m going to pull a honeybadger in the race today. Wait, that’s a noun right?
    No, an adjective because it’s describing an implied ‘move’ which is a noun?Maybe I shouldn’t give a sh*t. Love new action words.

    Reply
  3. scanman says

    February 1, 2012 at 7:28 pm

    hadn’t seen the Basilisk, laughed so hard I almost peed a little. Love that Randall, he can come to family reunion anytime!

    Reply
  4. Kayla B says

    May 6, 2012 at 3:55 am

    I love Randall! And I love the honey badger!!!

    Reply

Trackbacks

  1. Getting Nothing for My Birthday - Kathryn Mayer says:
    January 30, 2015 at 3:59 am

    […] But this year I got a surprise: right before Kid1 left for college (horribly sad; goodbyes still suck), she managed a framed photo montage of our family and …. the BEST T-SHIRT EVER. […]

    Reply
  2. If You Give a Mom Some Tweezers... - Kathryn Mayer says:
    February 5, 2015 at 12:00 am

    […] care, when you return from a week away from home, to good lighting, sharp tweezers and a big ass, honeybadger mirror, you know you’re going entirely freak over the survival of the fittest Darwinian […]

    Reply

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About Kathryn Mayer

Kathryn Mayer

An irreverent storyteller with a foul mouth and big heart, Kathryn Mayer (aka Kathy and/or Kate) is a writer, humorist, and (former) activist writing out loud with humor and grace about little life moments with big ripples, including the space between parenting and aging parents, social issues, angsty reflections of midlife, and, sigh, gun humpers. Still. Sometimes a big deal, sometimes not Mayer is a national award-winning columnist, according to the National Society of Newspaper Columnists, and her essays have been recognized as Voice of … Read More Here...

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