Hello, Stand-Up Performers!
Could you please send me a sentence or two about yourself that Wendy Liebman can use when she introduces you?
It was a simple enough email, but left me staring at a blank screen for far too long. It was for me, and I don’t do stand up; I barely do sit down.
I’m headed to the Erma Bombeck Writing Workshop, a biannual (every two years, not twice a year) writing conference for funny writers and those who aspire to be. And this year, I’ll be writing some stand-up material, and performing it. Which is both amazing and makes me throw up a little in my mouth.
Which is nothing new.
I went to Erma two years ago, and spent much of the time alone in a bathroom stall fluctuating between crying and drinking alone. Go ahead, judge away.
It was my first writing conference ever, and it was a year after the Newtown shooting, a month after my dad died, and well, I wasn’t feeling all that funny.
But a funny thing happened on the way to Dayton, or really, during and after.
I got a swift kick in the ego, was told by everyone and no one specific, to snap outta it and tell your story. So I did and wrote about it here, and I have Erma and the smart, funny writers who make the pilgrimage to Dayton to thank for it.
I listened and learned from people I had never heard of before, but will never forget. Gina Barreca. Judy Carter. Gingy Beckerman.
And had my hand held the entire time by the kind, gentle and extraordinarily talented emcee, Patty Wynn Brown, but she didn’t know it then.
Get it out, throw your hat in the ring, and if you’re rejected? So be it. Move on. There’s more than one audience, and everyone has a story to tell. Just maybe, somebody will be ready to hear yours.
That’s what I learned last time.
Since then, I’ve joined two writing groups, read my work aloud to real people, attended the biggie BlogHer (workshops so-so, keynotes AWESOME), auditioned for Listen To Your Mother 3x (no, no, and no, but can’t blame a girl for trying to recreate the magic), submitted scores of essays and articles, and have been rejected – and accepted – just enough to think I may, in fact, be a writer.
So I’m going back to Erma, and have been selected* to perform in Attendee Stand-up Night: where novice amateurs give stand-up a whirl to a captive, and hopefully very drunk, audience.
And I need to write an intro for the real comedian to introduce the amateur, yours truly. Moí. I also need to write 4 minutes of material, which I will do. Soon. I hope.
What if they don’t laugh? What if they don’t get me? Rumor has it I’m not very popular with the mid-west crowd.
But what if they do.
So I’m doing it: sink or swim, laugh or awkward silence, accepted or rejected. I’m putting it out there, because if you throw enough spaghetti to the walls, something’s gotta stick.
Knowing I’m amongst friends I haven’t met yet, I will bravely leave the bathroom stall, climb up on the stage, and give it a try. It’s all I can do.
*Full disclosure: selected might be hyperbole: it was completely random. However, there is the Erma Bombeck essay contest which I entered and is judged, anonymously, by real writers with real credentials, which I want to win more than is healthy to admit.
Kate! Love this! And love the fact that you’re pushing yourself to recreate yourself once again. They’re lucky to have you!! I love going to writing conferences, hanging in the midst of other half-crazy creative types like me. Because most of the time…they’re just looking to love and support you, unlike other places I’ve been in this world. So, go knock their socks off, as I know you will!
You are a talent to big for our little town…we’ve got to set you loose on the world!
Gael
Thank you thank you thank you, my talented friend.
You will be great; you just have to be you! Such a great conference for you. You are a wonderful, fun and funny person, whom I look forward to spending one amazing week with each year.
One week is not nearly enough. Thanks for the read and love. xo
I was a total noob at EBWW2014 and I had just one goal: make one new friend. That was it. To my surprise and joy I made many friends, genuine connections with women I continue to care about. Kate you are one of those gal pals for life. Cheering you on during your stand-up debut will be one of this year’s highlights. I cannot wait to see you.
Right back atcha, and ready to belly up to the bar. Gonna be grand!
Can’t add much except to say .. the posts you write touch me always, and you articulate for me what I wish I could but can’t. Thank you again and again for all you do, your are an inspiration to me!
Wow. Humbled and wow. xo
1) This is going to sound weird but hear me out: Even if you “bomb” you almost certainly did not. This particular audience is almost certainly on your side and if they fail to laugh they way you expect them to, it is probably has more to do with their own self-consciousness getting in the way of a spontaneous public display. BUT IT IS ALMOST CERTAIN THAT THEIR ENTHUSIASM FOR THE CONFERENCE, AND ADMIRATION OF YOUR COURAGE (BEING ONE OF THEM, NOT THE “PROFESSIONAL”) COUPLED WITH YOUR MATERIAL, WILL BE SUFFICIENT TO HAVE THEM HOWL AND WET THEIR PANTS.
2. If you would like to practice in front of an audience, give me a call. It’s good to practice in front of people if only to get a sense where the laughs will come.
3. 4 minutes may seem like 2 hours, but it will go by lightning fast, particularly when the laughter starts.
4. Try to picture everyone in their underwear. . .I always do that, not because it relaxes me, I just like to imagine what the audience looks like in their underwear. . .I lost my point. . ..nevermind
5. If you can open up with a strong remark, that will set the tone for the rest of the set. My all time favorite by Larry David: ” There’s one thing I always admired about Hitler. He never took any crap from magicians.” Once you surprise and delight them, you own them!
6. The more you practice, the more comfortable you will be and the more you will be able to tinker with it in the moment so that you can respond to the audience. So start practicing damn it.
7. Good for you. Good luck and have fun Kathryn Mayer.
I love that you call me kathryn mayer. Thank you for your sage advice, and i will make you proud!