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Kathryn Mayer • Writing Out Loud

I write stuff down. writer • humorist • activist

Why it’s good to read the comments

March 25, 2016 by Kate Mayer 23 Comments

Kate Mayer reads comments out loudI read the comments on my essay about a gift my mother-in-law gave me over 20 years ago.

I read all of them.

It was proudly printed in Cosmo, then reprinted in Redbook, Good Housekeeping and Women’s Day.

If you didn’t see it, you can read it here.

Yes, I’m still talking about it. It has over 210,000 views. That’s a lot. If they read it.

Which a few of them did because they left proof in the comments. And they are a bonanza of Americana intellect, commentary, and beauty tips.

You know what’s cool about working in the GVP (gun violence prevention) movement? Once you’ve been trolled there, regular every day haters just can’t touch me.

I’ve got superhero powers of teflon; negative comments used to make me cringe and want to hang up my keyboard for the rest of my writing days, but once a freedom lovin’ gunhumper threatens to shove a gun up your lady parts, then well, insults on my mustache have no power, other than to make me laugh.

Take a listen to what people have to say (in two parts because, well dogs, time, and technology):

More, more, more said the readers. And a where we are now explanation about my mother-in-law, and why most of the commenters got it all wrong.

So there you have it. This is why I usually, never read the comments, but sometimes, it’s the best part of the story.


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Comments

  1. Robin K says

    March 25, 2016 at 1:49 pm

    You saying flippin’?! Made me laugh the most.

    Love.

    Reply
    • Kate Mayer says

      March 25, 2016 at 2:11 pm

      Flippin? Don’t recall, but glad it was flippin’.

      Reply
  2. Suzanne Fluhr says

    March 25, 2016 at 3:01 pm

    I haven’t been trolled too badly in comments. The “worst” was a physician who took the time to write an essay to explain that I was defining “Baby Boomer” incorrectly on my blog, Boomeresque. He insisted that the only Baby Boomers were born in 1946. Whatever. Usually, I find that the comments actually add to the conversation and so many more people chime in when they can do so digitally. Admittedly, I don’t write about politics. Otherwise, I’d probably need to wear an asbestos apron and face protection to read the comments. 😉

    Reply
    • Kate Mayer says

      March 25, 2016 at 3:22 pm

      I always read comments on my own blog, and grateful for every one (except the violent ones; they don’t play well with others). Comments on other sites are often eye-opening conversation starters for sure! These sure did it for me!

      Reply
  3. Alana says

    March 26, 2016 at 2:22 pm

    I do read my comments. Because my subjects are rarely controversial (and who would have thought that a nether regions shaver was controversial, at least today) I got get the hatefull trolls, well, maybe once or twice I did. But those Women’s Day readers – wow, not the readers of my 1960’s childhood (my mother loved that magazine). The Cosmo readers were tame in comparison!

    Reply
    • Kate Mayer says

      March 26, 2016 at 3:06 pm

      I thought the same! Not my mother’s Women’s Day! Thx for the read & kind comment!

      Reply
  4. Karen says

    March 26, 2016 at 3:02 pm

    This was good for me to hear. I only write on my own blog and occasionally a few others and I often wonder if writing for Huff Post or other big publications would be a positive or negative because of the comments. Some people are CRAZY! And honestly, the few times I have had questionable comments on my blog or social media accounts, it makes me want to throw away my pen and hibernate. I need to toughen up I think if I am going to continue writing. Thank you so much for posting this. You are adorable and I loved getting a giggle. This has helped me be a little more brave. 🙂

    Reply
    • Kate Mayer says

      March 26, 2016 at 3:07 pm

      This might be my fav comment ever!!! Thank you!

      Reply
  5. Mithra Ballesteros says

    March 26, 2016 at 3:32 pm

    You’re hilarious. Loved everything about this. Bless you and your practical MIL. And I guess we must all be wary of the baggage that readers bring along as they read something that is supposed to be an amusing snippet of a real-life loving relationship.

    Reply
    • Kate Mayer says

      March 26, 2016 at 4:18 pm

      Awww, thank you for finding me funny! As you heard all too clearly in the videos, not everyone does!

      Reply
  6. janice Wald says

    March 26, 2016 at 5:18 pm

    Hi,
    I have been attacked on my blog several times, and I write about BLOGGING. I never would have thought blogging tips would be controversial! It does make for an interesting comments section, but blogging should be fun. You don’t have to attack people. I was actually interviewed on this topic.
    Janice

    Reply
  7. Veronica James says

    March 26, 2016 at 6:20 pm

    It used to bug the crap out of me, now — while I’ve not completely gotten to the point of “rolling off my back” — the recovery time is much shorter. I always suggest to other bloggers to create a personal troll. Mine is named “Mr. Cheeto Hands” and I pull him up whenever a negative commenters rears their head. Mr. Cheeto Hands lays in bed with laptop perched on his giant gut, surrounded by cheeto bags and beer cans, and um, plays with himself WAY more than that is good for him. Imagining him typing a mean comment takes the sting right out of the words!

    Reply
    • Kate Mayer says

      March 26, 2016 at 6:45 pm

      Mr. Cheeto Hands for the win!

      Reply
  8. Donna says

    March 26, 2016 at 6:29 pm

    Comments are a funny commodity. I want them! I actually look forward to having lots of them….but when I do, when someone calls me an ugly fat woman who could never get laid…I can’t “unread” it.
    But then theres the comment….”thank you, I am so happy to know someone else is experiencing this same thing. Thank you for being brave and writing about it” that makes it worth it all.
    I am so happy you were published in so many wonderful magazines. What a great feeling.
    Happy Easter!!

    Reply
    • Kate Mayer says

      March 26, 2016 at 6:47 pm

      I can’t unread them either, which is why I seldom do, except on my own blog. Thx for the read and kind comment!! so appreciated!

      Reply
  9. Kimba says

    March 27, 2016 at 1:13 pm

    SO love the comments. I live for them – yes, even the trolls. I picture the trolls, in all their trollness, sitting there in their underwear, hands turned orange from the empty cheetos bag in their lap, surrounded by way too many cats. However, I rarely engage a troll – that’s how you starve them. Feeding the trolls is a bad idea.

    Reply
    • Kate Mayer says

      March 27, 2016 at 2:12 pm

      Starve a troll; feed a reader! Thx my friend!

      Reply
  10. Debby Carroll says

    March 27, 2016 at 2:20 pm

    You know what they say: Haters gonna hate. I think you wear it well, clearly. And in your case it’s so a badge of courage for the excellent work you do! I was just featured on HuffPo this morning with a piece I wrote about the new image of grandparents and the children’s book I created offering a look at the new Boomer grands. The first comment was a troll complaining about how he knows grandparents who are abusive, racist, alcoholic, homophobes and wanted to know if they’re represented in my book too. Haters gonna hate. I’m with you, laughing them off. Thanks for putting it in perspective for me. Keep up your important work. I applaud what you’re doing and clearly you’re having an impact.

    Reply
    • Kate Mayer says

      March 27, 2016 at 2:35 pm

      Gotta keep laughing! Thx for reading, and not feeding the trolls!

      Reply
  11. Leslie Blanchard says

    March 30, 2016 at 8:20 am

    That was fantastic. I was impressed with your composure and “realness” on video! If my mother in law had given me that, I would’ve laughed and started writing my blog in my head, while everyone else opened their gifts. I don’t understand why these people don’t get humor. Rock on!

    Reply
    • Kate Mayer says

      March 30, 2016 at 10:51 am

      Not everyone finds me funny, so glad you did!! Thx for the read!

      Reply
  12. Psychic Nest says

    April 3, 2016 at 12:58 pm

    Controversial comments? Bring it on! Trolling comments? Go ahead! I don’t mind facing those because I have too much fun replying to them. I love your videos and your work!

    Zaria

    Reply
    • Kate Mayer says

      April 3, 2016 at 2:05 pm

      Why thank you!

      Reply

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Kathryn Mayer

An irreverent storyteller with a foul mouth and big heart, Kathryn Mayer (aka Kathy and/or Kate) is a writer, humorist, and activist writing out loud with humor and grace about little life moments with big ripples, including the space between parenting and aging parents, social issues, angsty reflections of midlife, and, sigh, gun humpers. Still. Sometimes a big deal, sometimes not Mayer is a national award-winning columnist, according to the National Society of Newspaper Columnists, and her essays have been recognized as Voice of the Year … Read More Here...

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