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Kathryn Mayer • Writing Out Loud

I write stuff down. writer • humorist • activist

Mike Mayerisms Grandpa Wisdom

March 18, 2015 by Kate Mayer 15 Comments

Today would have been my father’s 75th birthday. To honor him, I present here a partial list of Mike Mayer-isms, and encourage you to stick a finger in the cake at your next party. Colder than a witch’s tit in July. “Get your foot off the clutch!” Jesus H. Christ You’re a wart on the ass of progress. TURN. OFF. THE. LIGHTS. Humpin’ Jesus. Pay cash. Drive that car like it was made to

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Ouch: When the Truth Hurts

July 25, 2011 by Kate Mayer 5 Comments

Sometimes we hang with this “young couple,” who mistakenly think, for some bizarre reason, rather-attractive-husband and I are hip and kinda cool, you know, for older parents. (It’s the nose-ring. It fools ’em every time.) They keep us young, and we’re proof you can survive marriage and parenthood your own person. Yesterday we had pitchers (plural) of margaritas and hung out in their magnificent, higher-tax-bracket-than-I backyard. They have two wonder

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Victory Mary

March 27, 2009 by Kate Mayer 1 Comment

Update on my friendly neighborhood racist homophobe senior citizen, Vicki. (Biting My Tongue) Yes, it happened. She’d fallen and couldn’t get up. I visited at the hospital where they had no one there by that name. I went home, confirmed and called, insisting, I know she’s there. Nope. Not there. Of course, I thought she’d died, but this old pain-in-the-ass will live forever no doubt. Recuperating in a not-too-bad-smelling nursing

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Biting My Tongue during racist conversation

February 24, 2009 by Kate Mayer 4 Comments

racist comments for lunch

Yesterday, I was a lady who lunched. Three of us went; they had salad, I bit my tongue off, and the inside of my cheeks and my nails. We’re the only two friends this woman has anymore, and here’s why. Our lunchtime, um, discussion: Couldn’t vote for Obama because of his terrorist background. Our government is running a ponzi scheme just like Madoff. Reverend Al is a racist and hates white

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I programmed this fucker myself, thank you very mu I programmed this fucker myself, thank you very much. Trying to stave off the genetic inevitable -- link to story in bio.Also subscribe for more -- please! I lose subscribers every time I post (sooooo insulting!) and this one isn't even about guns or vaginas! Pretty soon it'll just be my mom reading me, unless she unsubscribes after this one.•#ageinplace #caregivers #humorwriting #midlife #agingparents #amwriting #cnf #memoirwriting #amblogging #gettingold #seniormoments #seniorcitizen #aarp #motherdaughter
Mask, vax & lax! First game spectators were allowe Mask, vax & lax! First game spectators were allowed at in over a year -- felt great to see my boy play in person! Plus jalapeno marg after — thx for the vaccine #moderna•#hoboken #stevensinstitute #d3mlax #drinkingwmyboy #spectators #socialdisdancing #gotech #smartfunnykind #littleegg #goboy  #lastegg
I’m so grateful & happy this sister of mine is c I’m so grateful & happy this sister of mine is celebrating another birthday! Happy birthday @jennifer.mayer.589 — wishing you much success  on the court and off!
Happy birthday plus a day to this grownass amazing Happy birthday plus a day to this grownass amazing woman.Spoiled for sure -- me, not her.  Never her, kid3. (Or him.) Just me, and super glad & grateful for it.•#grownandflown #proudmom #brooklynbrains #brooklynbeauty #offthepayroll #emptynest
Not dead yet. Thankfully. Most days. • #vaccin Not dead yet.Thankfully.Most days.•#vaccinated #mostly #upfromthegraveshearose #yesimeantSHE #sisterpower #missingsandra
Welcome back. Getting the blog back together. See Welcome back.Getting the blog back together. See you soon.•#writing #blogging #storytelling #getit? #willigetsuedforthis #welcomeback #backinthesaddleagain #cnf #essaywriting #wordsmatter #memoir #reallife #funnynotfunny #canyouhearmenow
It’s hard to keep up with the shooting hashtags. It’s hard to keep up with the shooting hashtags.We don't need to live(and die)like this.We really don't.•#guncontrolnow #endgunviolence #guncontrol #backgroundchecks #banweaponsofwar #onlyinamerica
“Who owns that baby?” • #signsofspring #lola “Who owns that baby?”•#signsofspring #lolasnewfriend #ididntstealthisbaby #neighbors #spring #viewfromnewtown #imtheoldladyonthestreet #gottabuyicepops
Can't you smell that smell? I have a really funny Can't you smell that smell?I have a really funny story about growing up and hating this🍀aroma but...now that restrictions are liftedwith white supremacy armed and at the ready,and mass shootings resumed,with Asians in the cross hairs,I'm just not feeling all that festive.•#stpatricksday #cornedbeefandcabbage #irish #homegrownterrorist #whitesupremacyisterrorism #hatecrime #misogyny #endgunviolence #disarmhate #stopasianhate
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About Kathryn Mayer

Kathryn Mayer

An irreverent storyteller with a foul mouth and big heart, Kathryn Mayer (aka Kathy and/or Kate) is a writer, humorist, and activist writing out loud with humor and grace about little life moments with big ripples, including the space between parenting and aging parents, social issues, angsty reflections of midlife, and, sigh, gun humpers. Still. Sometimes a big deal, sometimes not Mayer is a national award-winning columnist, according to the National Society of Newspaper Columnists, and her essays have been recognized as Voice of the Year … Read More Here...

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