You’ve been home with the kids for a few years, maybe more, maybe less. When do you know it’s time to reenter the work force?
I’ve got some ideas.
You’re looking around the PTO meeting and don’t know a soul. Your kids are the ‘big kids’ in the back of the bus. Your youngest is everyone else’s oldest. You don’t pay babysitters any longer. Your kids are the babysitters. You’re excited there’s a big project due at school. You work multiple shifts at the bookfair.
There’s many, many signs it’s time to rediscover the pre-kid you, and set some groundwork for the post-kid you. Because if you do your parenting job right, they will all eventually move out.
Eleven Sure-Fire Signs It’s Time to Get a Job
- All your emergency contacts on school forms are unavailable during the day ‘cuz they all have jobs.
- At school, your kid and your kids’ friends ask, “Why are you always here?”
- Any of your children shave – anything.
- You are the only mom at the mall without a stroller.
- You’re at the mall…or Target or Costco or HomeGoods, just to look around.
- You have time to train for a marathon.
- You become obsessed with small injustices and have the time and energy to fight the good fight on the facebook, letters to the editor, petitions, rallies, and Board of Education, Board of Finance, Legislative Council, and Dog or Skate Park committees.
- Cable, appliance repair guys, and internet geek squads can come anytime at all, no worries.
- You spend more than an hour (that’s right – 1 hour) on-line in a non-income producing or nonprofit save-the-world-or-one-small-part-of-it manner.
- You have ample time to be cookie mom or popcorn mom to scouts.
- The school secretary rolls her eyes the moment you buzz to get in.
Don’t misinterpret. I’m not advocating to stop being a mom. Nor stop being a volunteer. I’m saying find some balance, and now that your kids are full-time school age, you’ve got the time to do so. And there’s plenty of newbies waiting for their turn to shine.
Get a job. Any job – to start. You’ve volunteered out the wazoo and been there for your kids 24/7. The school will not disintegrate without you to keep it running. Let some new mom, with kids still in car seats and feetie pajamas, fill the void. Your time has come. Move on. Not to worry, homework will still get done, teach conferences attended, basketball teams coached. Yes, groceries will still get bought and your house cleaned. (Okay, perhaps an exaggeration on the house.)
Fill that down time between buses by preparing for the next chapter of your life. Volunteer, if you must, at non-profit. Take a class that updates your skills. Get recertified. Be a mentor. Get a mentor. The skills accrued with eventually get you hired. Maybe not today or tomorrow, but you’re building your potential with every move you make.
What signs do you see pointing to returning to work, or thinking about going back to work part-time, flex-time, work at home or full-time? If working now, when did you realize you were the last one staying?
It’s time. You’ve paid your dues and added time-management skills, leadership capabilities, and lifelong friendships to your childrearing CV, now it’s time to be reimbursed for your efforts. There’s work out there that lets us moms continue mommying, while adding to the coffers and confidence.
I think that your formatting is screwy! I see a single column of letters until the list!
thx for heads up! hopefully better now, but will need for some teenager to get home to help me fix for good. Good at observing, not-so-good at tech. However, AM COMMITTED TO LEARN!
this is very very funny AND accurate, I love these!!!
this is the funniest, laugh-out-loud thing I’ve seen in a long time. You sound like a female version of John Stewart. Fucking brilliant.
I think you’re talking about me……
I love reading your blog every day,please keep them coming! Kate you sound like this generation’s Erma Bombeck……She was a very funny lady who told it like it was with no holding back. You’re doing a great job following in her footsteps….Keep it real!
I know who Erma Bombeck and frankly, I’m not worthy.
And maybe I am talking about you… But when you’re launching your own biz, turning your talent into job, reinventing yourself to be more than a mom without ever forgetting you’re a mom, that is exactly who’s walking the walk and I am most certainly NOT talking to you, but rather, hoping others are watching YOU closely and learning.
Love your post – quick question, what’s your advice to someone that thinks may want to go back to work and don’t have any of the signs you listed 🙂
And about the economy and corporations and society at large “not getting it”…I cannot agree more with you. I happen to think that we are a generation of moms trapped by the achievement of our moms “female movement” and a society that it’s not here nor there….(hope I am not offending anybody). I just started blogging about “the life balance” (blahblahblog) your advice is appreaciated
Hi thetalk!
Those ‘signs’ were part truth, part sarcasm. I hear you about the generation between; while I want to raise feminist world changing thought provoking strong powerful women, the thing is, I WANT TO RAISE THEM! it’s a struggle all the time. The work balance I find is a little more… leads to a little more. And so far, so good. I do think we need to do more for us moms and less for them kids so that they can one day become successful adults. Make sense? But that’s me; and everyone’s got a different story.
Kathy!
I love your sarcasm…tell me more about “I want to raise feminist world changing thought provoking…women”…we all see the whole thing is not working very well for us (moms that used to be professionals or professionals that may want to be moms) – is there anything we can do so we make this world better for us and for future moms? or is it just so difficult to make/start changes that it’s not even worth it…..first time blogging – love the exchange 🙂 thanks
love the banter — checked out your post and much to talk about! But first, gotta walk the dog in a vain attempt to shrink the ass (mine).
Last year I was that stay at home mom who went to Target just to look around. This year I’m back to work, and I hate it. I get no sleep, no time to myself. My kids spend hours unsupervised before and after school where they take advantage by not doing homework, eating junk food, having their friends come in to play on the computer, etc… My summer babysitter surfed the internet all day. I spend 10 hours a week sitting in traffic. My boss thinks I’m a mediocre employee, because I’m constantly leaving early for sports’ practices & orthodontist appointments. I haven’t had a vacation in a year, because I’m a new employee and I use my vacation time for snow days, school holidays and when the kids are sick. Since I was out of work for 9 years, I’m considered to have little experience, so I’m paid like a young person. It doesn’t feel worth it. Be careful what you wish for.
Ugh. You’ve got the job, now use it to find another, more acceptable accommodating position. If you’re getting paid squat, then add up your time and may be worth your while to work at that Target rather than schlepping to land of discontent. Or become remarkable then negotiate to your schedule. You can’t be this unhappy for the next 9 years! If momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.
Anonymous is right and that’s reality. The moms I know who are back to work are frazzled and their kids are unattended or in after school care with sullen teenagers who don’t give a care what goes on.
In today’s economy…it is hard to find job and that’s another reality. I am lucky that I work with my husband with our small company and have flexible hours (work at home). Not everyone has this luxury though.
So while I love the list of “time to return to work if…”, it is not easy to put into practice.