I have a Costco-sized box of condoms in our hall closet, opened, right up in front, with a handful removed so nobody’s counting or keeping track if any go missing. Easy access, no questions asked. Like mints, take one. Take two. Just take. I’d prefer these horny teenagers save it for someone who matters, someone who will love them inside and out, to their very core and soul, and not
First Day of School Bus Stop Joy
School’s back in session, and thousands of iPhones are capturing the magic milestones as little back packs, shiny new shoes, and fancy lead-based lunch boxes climb that big yellow bus. Tiny little fists heroically wave goodbye to the parents left behind. And while tears are being shed, there are a few, brief moments of joy. Here’s mine:
Summertime Daughter Grows Up
I have a part-time daughter: a little girl from the South Bronx, who I’ve watched grow up from afar, taught how to read, camp, pick blueberries. I taught her how to use a tampon, importance of birth control, and shoved the importance of school down her throat to escape the only world she ever knew. She’s started as a summer time daughter, turning 5 on the deadline date she climbed
Pillow Pets & Guatemala
My college kid is in Guatemala for January break trying to be immersed in the language and come home fluent. Yay her. It’s a January term project for which she receives college credit – if she lives and doesn’t end up sold into sex slavery or decapitated or heroin addicted or bound and gagged in a trunk of an old Dodge Dart. It’s just a thought, from her mom and
Attainable parenting goals for the New Year
Brand spanking new year and I am so ready to take it by the chinese wontons and work the hell out of it! Sorry, a bit too much Hangover quotes flying around this holiday season. Nothing says Christmas like your 17, 14 and 12 year old quoting The Hangover and equally inappropriate Step Brothers around the yule log. The 12 year old, Boy, hasn’t seen either; only the play-by-play human Tivo Kid3