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Kathryn Mayer • Writing Out Loud

I write stuff down. writer • humorist • activist

Secrets of the Traveling Va-Jay-Jay

April 4, 2012 by Kate Mayer 26 Comments

I’m a working woman, who travels frequently for business (HA!) and was stopped during a security checkpoint due to an anomaly in my groin area. Frequently means twice and business means I was on the clock, and groin anomaly means bulge between my legs. If I could only be so lucky, ba-da-bum! Which I have none of, in fact, that supposed anomaly in the groin area. Except pubes. And the

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A Container Store for My Brain

March 6, 2012 by Kate Mayer 9 Comments

Recently I asked an overly organized friend to come over and make me more like her, and less like me. I confided I spend more time tracking info scribbled on receipts, folders, notepads, and menus; emails forgotten in draft form; to do lists left undone; a thousand ideas hidden in thousands of places, than I actually spend doing the work itself. Makes you want to run right out and hire this

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Attainable parenting goals for the New Year

January 2, 2012 by Kate Mayer 4 Comments

Brand spanking new year and I am so ready to take it by the chinese wontons and work the hell out of it! Sorry, a bit too much Hangover quotes flying around this holiday season. Nothing says Christmas like your 17, 14 and 12 year old quoting The Hangover and equally inappropriate Step Brothers around the yule log. The 12 year old, Boy, hasn’t seen either; only the play-by-play human Tivo Kid3

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Launching Turkeys

November 24, 2011 by Kate Mayer 8 Comments

The first Thanksgiving I ever hosted was as a young newly married lass – same rather attractive husband – but it was about 30 pounds, 4 kids, 2 dogs, and 3 minivans ago. I loved it. Had 8 people for dinner, and it was the largest dinner I ever prepared and never had such a good time playing susie homemaker in my entire life. Little did I know that after

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Playdate is a Curse Word

September 29, 2011 by Kate Mayer 11 Comments

Today is Rosh Hashanah, and Happy New Year to all you celebrating. To me and my über Catholic town, it’s another day off from school. Which is a total pain in the ass for work-at-home moms. (Not to worry, Good Friday pisses me off as well. I’m an equal-opportunity religious holiday bigot.) But that’s not the problem. This is: Boy got called for a PLAYDATE.  This kid is in 6th

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Jobiversary

September 21, 2011 by Kate Mayer 1 Comment

You must give a job the 6 month test, an ex-friend once told me. Six months is the tell-tale time, as long as the checks clear. Can’t hate a new job too soon; can’t love it too soon. There’s a honeymoon stage, a trial-by-error stage, a stage for new hire and bosses to dance around each other in the ring, not wanting to show too much too soon, either way. Not

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For this I Blew Dry My Hair?

September 20, 2011 by Kate Mayer 5 Comments

I work from home. Which means everything you think it does. No shower, working in PJs, laundry everywhere, conference calls during soccer practice, the works. Once a week, however, I meet with LadyBoss, face-to-face, for a two-hour whirlwind brainstorm of to-do lists, what ifs, and careful examination of where we’re going and where we’ve been. Or more specifically, where I’m going and where I’ve been. And some kid talk too,

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Texts Prove I’m a Real Working Mom

September 15, 2011 by Kate Mayer 3 Comments

Remember that business trip? Awwwesome. But in the middle of an 8 hour brainstorming, mind-blowing cerebral marketing explosion, I get a buzz. A text. Not from a vendor, advertising whore, media kiss-ass, or frustrated customer. I get this emergency text, from Kid1, college smarty-pants, who although she’s discovering just who she is, she is also discovering she may, in fact, still need her mama. Which only means, that even though

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About Kathryn Mayer

Kathryn Mayer

An irreverent storyteller with a foul mouth and big heart, Kathryn Mayer (aka Kathy and/or Kate) is a writer, humorist, and (former) activist writing out loud with humor and grace about little life moments with big ripples, including the space between parenting and aging parents, social issues, angsty reflections of midlife, and, sigh, gun humpers. Still. Sometimes a big deal, sometimes not Mayer is a national award-winning columnist, according to the National Society of Newspaper Columnists, and her essays have been recognized as Voice of … Read More Here...

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